What a difference a year makes vol. III

Last year on the first Monday of October I started my job as a registered nurse. I had sat for my nclex the Friday before and on Sunday I paid $8 for the “unofficial” results. If someone would have told me all that was about to happen in the year to follow I wouldn’t have believed it. 

I had an extremely easy transition from working as a nurse’s aid to working as a nurse. In November we found out we were pregnant. In December we traveled to California to welcome the new year with family. A few months of planning a dream trip and by April we were headed to Paris and Barcelona. After many months of being pregnant and not knowing the gender we gave birth to a healthy and adorable baby boy in July. In September we bought a beautiful and spacious home that met about 90% of our must haves. And by the first Monday of October of the following year, after taking nclex, we had moved into our new home and I returned to work after 12 blissful weeks of maternity leave. To say that I feel beyond blessed is an understatement. 

It amazes me how much can happen in just one year. I know that it won’t always be like that. That just like there is a time for blessings there’s also a time for lessons. And trust and believe that I have had my fair share of lessons so it feels so good to finally see those lessons get rewarded. I had dreamed of this year so much and now that it’s finally here I can’t help but to feel grateful to my Heavenly Father for not forsaking me. Many times I thought these blessings would never come yet here they are. 

Oh God, thank you so much for showing me favor and grace. I want to cherish this season of life for as long as it lasts. After all, 

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing? Look at the birds. They don’t plant or harvest or store food in barns, for your heavenly Father feeds them. And aren’t you far more valuable to him than they are? Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭6:25-27‬ ‭NLT‬‬

My heart haven’t been any more joyful than in this season of life. 

🙏🏽

Christian One Month

My sweet Christian, 

You are two month young already and my mommy heart is so full of love. We believe that you will be the last baby in this home and I want nothing more than for time to pass by as slow as possible because I want to enjoy every second of every minute of every hour with you. Baby boy I will never be able to express in words how happy I am that you are ours. 

Being a mommy to your big brothers I felt prepared to welcome you, love you, and care for you just as I did for them but you have surprised me so much in so many ways. You are perfect in every way Christian. Day after day you seized to amaze me. How did I ever wish for a baby girl when God knew that you were exactly what we needed, what I needed. 

Your first week home was both a beautiful bliss and a challenge as we struggled to adjust to life with a newborn, breastfeeding correctly, and making sure your big brothers didn’t feel left out but also being super protective of you. We came home shortly after twenty four hours and you started to lose weight rapidly. You dropped to 6lbs 3oz from 6 lbs 14oz and being that you weren’t back at your birth weight at one week old brought many concerns. It literally took two full weeks for you to gain weight and still you were a few ounces shy of your birth weight. We were very close to having to start you on formula which brought some sadness to me. Thankfully that was not necessary. 

As the weeks went on and you and I bonded and worked on perfecting our feeding sessions things got easier. You for the most part had your own little schedule. I didn’t catch on to it till you were far into your fourth week. You fed every two hours and woke up twice over night. You were sleeping up to four hours stretches which was awesome but not too good due to the weight issue. You literally only cried when you were hungry or had a dirty/wet diaper. 

By the start of your second week of life your belly button stump had fallen out. And by week three you were out on a bout ride. I didn’t take you out much. The heat was insane so we spent a lot of times indoors. You take 3mls of milk when I feed you via bottle, which by the way you are a champ and taking both the bottle and breast. 

Your brothers are head over hills for you. They love you so much Christian, if you only knew. They both come running as soon as you start to cry and they demand I hold you, feed you, change you, or just make you stop crying ASAP! Not because they’re annoyed but because the can’t stand to see you cry regardless the reason. It is both the cutest and most frustrating thing because they don’t give me a chance to figure out which of the above is the reason that you are crying for. But I get it. They love you just as much as I do. 

Your daddy is head over hills for you too. I love watching him interact with you. He seriously is the perfect daddy. I couldn’t have picked a better daddy for you and your brothers. 

You are the youngest on both sides of the family and you have won everyone over. Grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. They all love you so much and come visit you all the time. It has been a busy month for sure. 

You love to be taken out to the porch and being rocked on the swing. You are super alert and love looking at your surroundings. Bath time is another favorite. You would cry at first but after several baths you just lay there loving the water. You dislike being put in your car seat and car rides are a hit or miss. You like the car ride for the list part, is being in the car seat that you are not to fond of. You spend a lot of time on my chest. Many of your naps are spent there. Grandma says to stop letting you nap on me, that I’m spoiling you but I can’t help it. I know how fast this stage goes by and I don’t want to miss a second of it. So I’ll deal with those bad habits because they will soon be short lived. 

At your one month check up you were 9lbs   1oz and 22in long. You got a vaccine and you were not happy about it. And everything else was great. Oh and can I just say how much you resemble your brother Adrian at your age! You two are like twins, seriously. 

Happy One month baby boy. We love you so much and are so excited to have you be the missing piece to our puzzle. 

We’re Homeowners!

2019 has been so good to me, to us. From traveling to Europe, to being pregnant with our third baby, to buying a home. Can this year get any better?!

So yeah, we bought a home. 

We had plans to do so for a few years now but we wanted to wait till I had finished nursing school and had worked and saved a pretty penny. Plan was to start looking in April, after getting back from Europe but there were some things that we needed to do behind the scene prior to. After those things were settled we started to work with a bank and a realtor.

He started to actively look for a home in late June. We literally saw 3 to 4 homes every other day for several weeks. I was worried that this process would take a long time as I have seen it happened to others so I wasn’t really expecting to find a house that quickly but I was really hoping we did. We put in offers on about four homes including our current one. I was so close on giving up because I was frustrated at how expensive the homes were and the homes that I did like we’re out of our budget or had crazy taxes. Then those that were in budget were not what we wanted and had a lot of work to be done. 

When we came across our home I wasn’t too thrilled about it. Matter of fact, hubby never showed me this home before booking a showing. I knew about it right when we drove into the drive way. I wasn’t impressed. But after walking through it I had fallen in love. There were some minor things that we didn’t like about it but somehow we found solutions for them even before we left the home. We ended up putting an offer right away but it wasn’t accepted. To say that we were disappointed is an understatement, I was truly torn. Then exactly 2 weeks later and after seeing many more homes we got a call from their agent asking if we were still interested. We revised our original offer and submitted it. They counter offer us, we liked what they had to say and just like that we had a deal. Those next six weeks were the longest most nerve-wrecking days of my life. I hated the waiting game. I had heard so many stories that did not end well and I was terrified that that would happen to us. I try to stay positive but it was so hard.

The week prior to closing there were so many paperwork and other things that needed to be done that I was honestly having major anxiety. Everyone always say “buy a house, it will be worth it, you’ll  save money in the long run, you won’t regret it” but they never tell you how stressful it is to go through this process. Even the day of closing there were hiccups that needed to be dealt with or the deal was off. It was crazy. Then when we were at the office signing I honestly started to have palpitations and I was sweating like I had just ran a marathon all because I was double guessing if we were really making the right decision. 

When it was all said and done we picked up the boys and headed up to the house and it all felt so right. Everything about this home felt so right. I really felt like we were home. Originally I had wanted to build a house but it was so hard trying to figure it all out not to mention that we needed a big down payment for the type of house we wanted because of course we didn’t want a cookie cutter and custom homes have the tendency to be pricey. It would had also taken a year or longer to be finished and ready for move in. So this route was without doubt the best move for us. 

Today makes exactly a week since we closed on our house. We have done a lot of painting with a couple small projects and are hoping to be moved in by next week. The house was pretty much move-in ready but we wanted to do some changes to it, like the painting, before moving in any furniture. 

The boys are super excited. We met all but one of the neighbors. We are in a cul-de-sac with about six homes. There are some children which is perfect because they are similar in age yo our boys and everyone have been super nice and have welcomed us with a big smile and kind words. 

I personally feel beyond blessed. And I look forward to this next chapter in our lives.

Christian's Birth Story

 

 They say each pregnancy is different and that each birth is unique. I had no doubt of that after having my first two boys being that their birth story were very different indeed. This time around I felt that I was well prepared for what was to come. Although, I was a bit worried remembering how fast things happened and how painful things were with Adrian. Yet nothing could have prepared me for what this delivery would be like. 

It all started Monday July 15th. I had my 39 weeks appointment that morning and I was hoping that my body had made some sort of progress. I had my first cervix check at 36 weeks and had made no change as expected. Neither at 37 or 38 weeks, I was beginning to think that my body had forgotten what to do and so I joked about it every time someone asked me if I was dilated at all. This particular morning however, I was surprised to hear that I was 3cm dilated, 70% effaced, and -2 station. I was extremely happy to hear that. Shortly after telling me that my midwife said "would you like me to do a membrane sweep?" I was definitively not expecting that because I was undertake impression that they were not doing that anymore. However my excitement took over and before even thinking about it the word yes had come out of my mouth. And just like that the labor process got a kick start. 

I left the office feeling some sort of De Javu because that's how AJs labor started. Early in the morning. Same cervical progress. And a membrane sweep. I decided to go to the store to see if I found cute going home outfits because I had not purchased any being that we didn't know the gender. I was having some contractions but nothing strong or steady. I also called the hubby to let him know that today could possibly be the day and that he needed to be cautious of the amount of work he had schedule to do for the day because I didn't want him to miss birth as well. 

After my store run I decided to go home. I ate pineapple and drank some raspberry tea. I figured it wouldn't hurt if this was indeed the beginning of the labor stage. Yet there were no contractions in the horizon. I remember hubby coming home and making some pot stickers we had bough earlier that week and I was really craving them. At around 7pm the contractions started to creep in. I decided to lay down and see if they would continue or stop. Indeed they continued about 10 mins apart or so, I wasn't really tracking them at that point. At 8pm I decided to track them and they were coming every 5 minutes and some every 3 minutes. After an hour of this I told hubby that maybe we should go in to  the hospital so I called the On call provider. I was happy to hear that the doctor on call was one of my favorite ones. Actually when I had my OB appointment with her I remember thinking "I want her to deliver me." I had known her since she was a first year resident and here she was now running the show. Plus she is the most sweetest and humble person, she reminded me so much of the doctor who delivered AJ, who unfortunately for me, had moved to Texas a few months after. She told me to go in to rule out labor and so we started to gather our things and load the car. 

At this point it was almost 9:30pm. We got on the road and dropped off the boys at their grandpas. Contractions were a bit strong but manageable and still coming every 3-5 minutes. We arrived at the hospital a little after 10pm and got checked in. We were put in a triage room where they started to monitor the contractions and baby's heart rate and they checked my cervix. I was the exact same as this morning. I was not happy to say the least. They told us to go for a walk and that they would recheck me in about 90 minutes. We walked for a little over an hour, contractions were getting stronger for sure so I decided to go back to the room. 

Around midnight they came in to recheck me and I barely made any progress. They said I was still between 3-4cm and that they wouldn't even give me a 4. I honestly couldn't believe it. Y'all I was in pain! They even wanted to send me home. At this point I had not seen the "nice doctor" it seemed to be a busy night and she was delivering other babies. I heard her voice several times in different rooms as we walked the hallways. So I was being checked by residents. I didn't mind until this specific resident tried sending me home because according to her I wasn't in active labor. She asked us how far away we lived (which we only lived 15 minutes away) then she suggested that we go home, wait it out, and when the contractions got stronger that we come back in. I explained to her that I wasn't comfortable doing that because my last baby came super fast and I was instructed that if I ever got pregnant again that I should come to the hospital right away at he first sign of labor. She was not having it. She wanted us to go home but I stood my ground. I honestly did not feel comfortable with that decision. Not to mention that I was in a lot, a lot of pain. I even asked my nurse, how much more pain do I need to be in to come back if I go home. Her response, "Oh honey it will get a lot worse." Mind you, I wasn't being monitored either. At the end of it all they decided to give me another hour to see if I made progress, if I did not make any progress then I would be sent home. In the meantime I could get some Tylenol and Benadryl for "the pain". This was all some real BS.

There must have been some sort of emergency happening right next door to our triage room. It was about 1am and they were supposed to come recheck me but there was no sign of anyone. Everyone was moving really fast, all the doctors were in the room next door, and before you know it they were taking that poor lady to the OR. Meanwhile I was about to pass out from the intense pain I was experiencing. I told hubby to close the glass door because breathing through the contractions was not helping and that I really needed to scream. Suddenly I started to have flashbacks from AJs birth. The pain was unbearable. Tears were running down my cheeks nonstop. And I had officially lost controlled of the situation. I just couldn't keep up with my breathing through the contractions anymore. 

It must have been after 2am when the doctors came in to check on me. Again the flashbacks. My contractions were too close together, I couldn't stay still and when they laid me flat for the check I just wanted to die. Even more so when they said I was still 3-4cm. I remember thinking "these residents don't have any idea what they are doing. Can't they see that I'm about to die from this pain. I cannot just be 3cm. That is impossible. I don't accept that." At least they noticed that my pain was so strong that they couldn't send me home. They agreed to keep me and admit but also start me on Pitocin to see if my body would respond to that. I agreed to the Pitocin as long as I got an epidural. Right away I was put on the monitor again and an IV was started. I had to take in a liter of fluids before getting the epidural. 

At this point things are like a blur. The rest of this delivery story is from what I remember and what the hubby told me. I remember having to walk to my labor room which was at the end of the hallway. I had four contractions on my way there, meaning my contractions were at least a minute apart. I remember getting into the room and having hubby stop at the bathroom. I said I have to pee babe let me go in here quick. I lied, I had to poop but didn't want to tell him. I know what you are thinking, having the urge to poop pretty much means a baby is coming. But remember, I was only 3-4cm. There was no way I was about to have a baby. So I sat and pooped. Several minutes later I was ready to get up but friends, if I thought my contractions were intense before well there are no words to describe how painful my contractions had gotten after the bowel movement. I couldn't even get up from the toilet. My nurse came to check on me and when I told her that I had to poop again she said wait what, no we need to get up right now. We argued back and forth but I legit couldn't get up from the toilet and the urge to have a bowel movement intensified even more. Suddenly she got very firmed with me and told me that we were getting up, that we would not be delivering a baby in the toilet. And so she pretty much dragged me to the bed.

Again, more flashbacks from AJs birth. I was screaming y'all. Literally screaming from so much pain. Not only that but I was cursing up a storm. As my nurse called the doctor saying that something wasn't right and that I felt thinned to push, a bunch of staff entered my room. I think it was due to my screaming because I heard some ask "Is everything okay in here?"

One of the resident walked in and told me she needed to check me. Once she did I was 9cm. She tried explaining that I couldn't push, that if I did I would rip through my cervix and it would cause a lot of internal damage. She suggested they break my water and that chances were I would be fully dilated within seconds and that we would be ready to have a baby. She said that I probably wouldn't be able to get the epidural because I was moving too much and I needed to be very still. Also I wasn't done with my liter of fluids. I agreed to her breaking my water and it seriously took everything in me to not kick her as she did. 

This part I remember so vividly that I don't think I will ever forget it. As soon as my water was broken I kept yelling for her to take her hands out. I said "I'm sorry, I'm sorry but I have to push" and with the little bit of strength I had left I pushed. I pushed so hard that my baby's head came right out. All I remember hearing was "We have a head. Don't push." Again all of this happened so fast. I again said that I had to push and the "nice doctor" grabbed my right leg while hubby grabbed my left leg and I just pushed. And just like that baby was all out, at 3:06am with two pushes. Two freaking pushes and that bizarre pain was gone. I felt so relief, Oh what a relief. Then hubby whispers to my ear "Is a boy." "Did you ear what I said Pam, It's a boy." But to be honest I was so out of it and so relieved that the only thing I could think about was that it was finally over.

Once they put the baby on my chest I turned to hubby and said "wait, you said its a boy?" Then someone in the room said, "you didn't know what you were having? OMG." and everyone laughed. After several minutes hubby's able to cut the umbilical cord. I remember having the shakes. The baby started too feed immediately after being placed on my chest.

We waited for the sign that my placenta was ready for delivery but that didn't happen right away. And I thought to myself "shit! it's not over yet." This processed seemed to last a while since my placenta did not want detach but it did so eventually. I required some stitches, they said it wasn't bad but due to the fast nature of things stitches were needed for sure. I was monitored for about an hour and then was transferred to the Mom & Baby Unit for the rest of my recovery and our hospital stay. 

I honestly didn't expect for this delivery to happen this way. I was tad bit disappointed. I wanted to be in control, I didn't care whether or not I opted for an epidural but I did want to process to be a little less chaotic. I wanted pictures. I wanted our moms there. I wanted the big gender announcement recorded. I wanted this experience to be a good one, especially since we had agreed for this to be our last child. So I will admit that I feel robbed and cheated from my last birthing experience. It really makes me sad when I think back on how it all turned out. But I get it, each birthing experience is unique in its own way and I am thankful that both baby and I were good and healthy and that there were no complications. No preeclampsia like with AJ, not being bed bound for 24+ hours. As a matter of fact we were able to go home 24 hours after delivery so that is a good sign right. 

And just like that we started the next chapter of our married life and family of five. 

I don't know what the future holds. I don't know if this is indeed our last baby, if this was my last pregnancy. My last time delivering a baby. What I do know is that I am savoring every second of every minute with this little peanut. We love you Christian Jeremiah. You were the missing puzzle piece and we our so glad you are here and are ours. 

Boy Oh Boy Oh Boy

That's right. It's a boy!

Christian Jeremiah made an appearance 7 days ago and we are in love with our baby boy.  His birth story is on the works and I am looking forward on spending the next 11 weeks home with all of my boys, enjoying this new chapter of our lives as we embark in this next phase of life as a family of five! :)

Third Pregnancy Bumpdate

 

I have not documented this pregnancy whatsoever. Shame on me. I guess third baby syndrome is a real thing hahaha

32 weeks ago we found out we were 4wks pregnant. Today at 36 weeks we have 4wks to go. Y’all this is surreal.

So a little update. We still don’t know the gender. We’ve been hanging strong and I’m so proud of us for that. Now I’m not going to lie. A couple of times throughout this journey I’ve went a little crazy from not knowing and wanting to know really bad! I mean I even tried looking through my chart to see the ultrasound pictures but nada. I guess they take it serious when you tell them you don’t want to know the gender 🤷🏽‍♀️ but then I was fine. I realized this pregnancy has a very high probability that it’ll be our last baby that I host inside my body and I’ll probably never get the chance to try this again so like the saying goes, “why leave for tomorrow what you can do today”. Then as soon as I hit 30 weeks I just felt so relaxed about this whole thing and things have been pretty well since then. I love this baby sooo much already and I look forward to holding it and cuddling it and smothering it with love, lots of love and kisses.

In regards to symptoms this pregnancy I honestly cannot complain. I have yet to throw up at all. I had some episodes of nausea but it was mostly in the beginning when I went too long without eating or even drinking. On occasion I still get nauseated but I can usually trace it back to either under eating or over eating. I’ve also had a bad taste in my mouth since the very beginning. I can’t really explain it, it was just such a weird taste that I couldn’t get rid off at all. Eating gum would help but as soon as the gum went bad the taste came right back. Thankfully I haven’t felt that in a couple of months now. The most I’ve had to deal with is a little bit of heart burn and acid reflux when I burp. Recently I’ve been dealing with some swelling but I guess that’s expected at this point in pregnancy and with the heat. I’ve also been experiencing some left upper abdominal pain especially after pulling a muscle in that area at work. Lower back pain has also been a constant struggle this pregnancy. I am thankful for thse symptoms because I know  it could be a lot worse. It can always be worse.

The boys feelings about a little sibling. Well, Steven jr wasn’t thrilled. He said that he was too big already for us to be having a baby at his age hahaha. And when he found out this baby was coming in July... we’ll friends that didn’t go well. We were supposed to take a trip for his 13th Birthday and obviously that wasn’t going to happen anymore. Lately however he’s been better about this baby. He’ll rub my belly and ask about the baby’s growth and he asks every time I see the OB if I found out the gender. He wants to know so bad but he doesn’t really say what he thinks it is. Adrian in the other hand he’s has been all about his baby brother or sister. He is so affectionate towards the belly/baby. He talks to it, rubs it, kiss it, you name it. I know without a doubt that he is going to be the best big brother to this baby. At first he would say he wanted a baby sister and recently he’s been saying he wants a baby brother. He also want to be present for the delivery because he’s super curious about how baby’s come out of their mommy’s tummy , Ha! he is so funny and innocent.

 

Hubby is obviously excited for this babe as well. We were trying for quite the while before it finally happened and when I told him he was definitely surprised and not expecting it although he knew it was coming. He has been super sweet with this pregnancy as well. He spoils me rotten and loves to rub the belly and talk to the baby. He's done pretty good with not knowing the gender as well. A lot better than me actually. Lately he's been saying he wishes he'd know already but for the most part he's always so busy he probably doesn't even have time to stress about it, unlike me. 

Baby names. I think we have settle on names for both gender. I’m excited to share that once this baby is born. Is funny how both names start with the letter C so we’ve been referring to it as Baby C. Both names have special meaning to us, more so me but we are both on the same page about them and I look forward to meting this babes and seeing if he/she looks like the name we picked. 

We have yet to work on a nursery this time around.  Even though we have extra rooms that we can use for a nursery we are also in the process of looking for a house and I'd hate to start a nursery here just to do it over again in a new place. So baby will be rooming in with us for the time being because that's how it goes in the beginning anyways. We have a basinet for our room and I'm waiting for a changing table and rocking chair to arrive. I hope that we find a place while I'm not on leave but if that doesn't haven we are going to analyze the situation and decide whether or not set up the crib in AJs old room and go from there. I have lots of plans for this baby's nursery, boy or girl I have it all covered.

Other than that friends that's pretty much it. I've gained quite the pounds with this pregnancy. I feel huge and people tell me all the time that I look big, how nice no? I hope to bounce back to my pre pregnancy weight after delivery but I know it is going to take a lot of discipline from my part. In the meantime however the countdown is own. Baby will be considered full term next week and as long as it doesn't come on Steven Jr's birthday this baby is welcome to arrive when he/she wants :)

Our First Trip To Europe

Once upon a time I dreamed of taking a trip to Europe. There was also a time when I dreamt of graduating from nursing school by my thirtieth birthday. But as we know, life doesn’t always turn out the way we imagine it to be. Which can be a blessing in its own way of course. 

I thought. Maybe I can plan on doing a Europe trip as my graduation gift! And so I began to play with the idea and bringing hubby aboard. He wasn't for it much though saying, the kids won't enjoy that kind of trip Pam. I asked their opinion and he was right, they weren't interested at all. But come on, what 6 and 12 years old would? So we did a California trip instead with them. After ending up pregnant in the Fall I just knew a trip to Europe would be out of the plans for a very long time. Unless... I made it a couple's trip ;)

I played with the idea. Consulted my OB about it and when I got the okay I decided to not only make it a graduation/birthday gift to myself but to also make it a “Thank You” trip for hubby for supporting me so much over the years (mainly financially). And while we were at it it would also count as our Babymoon  it was perfect!

I started my research, gathered itinerary ideas, created a budget plan, etc. Once we got back from our Cali trip I booked flights and a few weeks later I booked our hotel rooms. At this point hubby had no idea! I know I’m crazy! Hahaha. Don’t get me wrong I was nervous. Nervous of his reaction because I knew Europe was not on his plans or the near future for him and two well, who wouldn’t be nervous. Europe was definitely out of my comfort zone. It was a lot different then booking a trip to the Caribbean or a place where we at least spoke the language. But I kept on with the plans. After booking the flights there was no turning back.

I had planned to surprise hubby with the trip news and details for Valentine’s Day. A couple of weeks before that however hubby started to talk about starting the process for house buying. We had been saving up since I started working as a nurse. All my paychecks were going to savings and we continued to live like we did prior to my finishing school like that extra income didn’t even exist. But that’s a topic for another day my friends. And so I started to really freak out about hubby’s reaction on my Europe splurge. I honestly didn’t spend much on flights and hotels. I found pretty good deals and I was sure it wasn’t going to affect our saving plans at all, I had it all figured out it was just a matter of having hubby see it the way I saw it 

All in all I have to say that I expected his reaction to be more “shocked” or maybe even a little bit more excited, crap I would have even taken a little angry emotion. His actual reaction was that of “playing off being shocked”. He definitely questioned me a lot about what was I thinking but I know my hubby and He didn’t react like I thought he would. Deep down I have a feeling that he knew. There was the possibility of someone I had told my plans to telling someone else and that someone else could have told him. But whatever it is what it is 🤷🏽‍♀️. 

Now we’re back from our trip. It was amazing! I loved it more than I thought I would and I am very happy to inform y’all that hubby is now a pro Europe guy and we’re already planning our next Europe trip with the boys! And of course the new babes. I can honestly say that he genuinely had a great time and loved it just as much as I did.

Now, you must be wondering what European countries did we visit? Well friends our first Europe trip included Paris and Barcelona. So make sure to check back in for the details and our experiences there. I cannot wait to blog about it all!

Word of the year: Joy

Why joy and not happiness? 

As I was doing my research on why Joy should be my word for 2019 I came across this explanation. Unfortunately I did not note exactly where I got it from but it really spoke to me.

"Joy and happiness are wonderful feelings to experience, but are very different. Joy is more consistent and is cultivated internally. It comes when you make peace with who you are, why you are and how you are, whereas happiness tends to be externally triggered and is based on other people, things, places, thoughts and events."

This year it was hard to decide on that special word. And to be quite honest when I first saw the word I wasn’t completely sold on it. I mean having joy is cool and all but Joy didn’t scream at me like past words of the year had. And so I kept fighting it and searching for another word to help me grow through 2019. But here’s the thing, having joy is not like having happiness. Joy comes from within. Having joy means you have accepted who you are and have decided to be joyful regardless of what is happening in your life. It is a choice to see the good in any situation which in my opinion is a pretty good goal to make for the year. With each word of past year I have experienced the best and the worse of it all. It's true what they say, be careful what you wish for, or in this case what you pray for, because God sure has a unique way to grant you your prayers. So I am sure that it will be challenging to find joy in the everyday but I am up for the challenge. Or so I hope to be. 


Past Words of the Year:
2015 Grace
2016 Faith
2017 Healing 
2018 Patience

And Just Like That...

We are twenty weeks away from becoming a family of five!

Yes, that's right. We're pregnant! Well, we've been pregnant. For 20 weeks now.  

Initially I had all this amazing ways I wanted to document this pregnancy. It was going to be awesome, and with this being more likely than not our last baby, I had a goal to enjoy every second of every minute with our sweet baby regardless of of bad it was. And well, yeah, that did not happen. But I have been pretty good about documenting weekly pictures of the bump so that counts for something right :)

Coincidentally today happens to be our 20 weeks ultrasound appointment. But guess what? We're keeping the gender of this bundle of joy a secret until delivery. Or so that's the plan. Our family and friends are not happy about it, which I get. I do. I keep thinking though, there aren't many surprises of this magnitude in life. I admit however that it would have probably been easier to do this the first time around instead of the third time and being parents to two boys already. 

Nonetheless we' are super excited! I have a couple of posts to follow so be sure to follow up.

Oh Hi There....

It's been a while.

I have seriously had the longest writer's block. Not that I'm a professional writer or anything but that's still a blogger's thing right?

I've logged on so many times to write a post and I've just stared at the screen with a blank mind. Maybe more like an overwhelmed mind. I have so much I want to say, yet I can't seem to find the words to say it all. So I have decided to start fresh. Let's forget about everything I want to say and instead just go with flow and write about the present because after all, the present is what matter most right :) and I kinda get the feeling that once I get started it will become easier to find the words I need to blog about the past year. 

In the mean time, Hello 2019!

We're only into the 7th week of the year and so much is happening already. I am super excited to document this year. So many exciting things to come.

Is funny. I looked back on my first post of 2018 and I love how I kept up with my plans for the year. I definitely lived in the moment more. So much so that after taking a hiatus from social media for the lent season I kind of never went back like I had in the past which had its up and down. I didn't post much after the fact but I also slack a lot in taking pictures of our every day moments that would normally be documented on social media and saved on my phone for memories. Needless to say that I think I had more than just writer's block and I miss having those precious memories caught on camera. 

So yeah maybe social media is not the root of all evil, as long as you use it for the greater good. You know like a place to document the fun and happy memories and be happy for those that post the same instead of using it to compare yourself on the "highlights" of others. I've learned and grown a lot the past couple of years and I hope to keep on learning and growing in the years to come. 

And so here we go again, welcome aboard to My Married Life! My adventures, frustrations, happiness and all the in-between.