Why joy and not happiness? 

As I was doing my research on why Joy should be my word for 2019 I came across this explanation. Unfortunately I did not note exactly where I got it from but it really spoke to me.

"Joy and happiness are wonderful feelings to experience, but are very different. Joy is more consistent and is cultivated internally. It comes when you make peace with who you are, why you are and how you are, whereas happiness tends to be externally triggered and is based on other people, things, places, thoughts and events."

This year it was hard to decide on that special word. And to be quite honest when I first saw the word I wasn’t completely sold on it. I mean having joy is cool and all but Joy didn’t scream at me like past words of the year had. And so I kept fighting it and searching for another word to help me grow through 2019. But here’s the thing, having joy is not like having happiness. Joy comes from within. Having joy means you have accepted who you are and have decided to be joyful regardless of what is happening in your life. It is a choice to see the good in any situation which in my opinion is a pretty good goal to make for the year. With each word of past year I have experienced the best and the worse of it all. It's true what they say, be careful what you wish for, or in this case what you pray for, because God sure has a unique way to grant you your prayers. So I am sure that it will be challenging to find joy in the everyday but I am up for the challenge. Or so I hope to be. 


Past Words of the Year:
2015 Grace
2016 Faith
2017 Healing 
2018 Patience

Yes, that's right. We're pregnant! Well, we've been pregnant. For 20 weeks now.  

Initially I had all this amazing ways I wanted to document this pregnancy. It was going to be awesome, and with this being more likely than not our last baby, I had a goal to enjoy every second of every minute with our sweet baby regardless of of bad it was. And well, yeah, that did not happen. But I have been pretty good about documenting weekly pictures of the bump so that counts for something right :)

Coincidentally today happens to be our 20 weeks ultrasound appointment. But guess what? We're keeping the gender of this bundle of joy a secret until delivery. Or so that's the plan. Our family and friends are not happy about it, which I get. I do. I keep thinking though, there aren't many surprises of this magnitude in life. I admit however that it would have probably been easier to do this the first time around instead of the third time and being parents to two boys already. 

Nonetheless we' are super excited! I have a couple of posts to follow so be sure to follow up.

I have seriously had the longest writer's block. Not that I'm a professional writer or anything but that's still a blogger's thing right?

I've logged on so many times to write a post and I've just stared at the screen with a blank mind. Maybe more like an overwhelmed mind. I have so much I want to say, yet I can't seem to find the words to say it all. So I have decided to start fresh. Let's forget about everything I want to say and instead just go with flow and write about the present because after all, the present is what matter most right :) and I kinda get the feeling that once I get started it will become easier to find the words I need to blog about the past year. 

In the mean time, Hello 2019!

We're only into the 7th week of the year and so much is happening already. I am super excited to document this year. So many exciting things to come.

Is funny. I looked back on my first post of 2018 and I love how I kept up with my plans for the year. I definitely lived in the moment more. So much so that after taking a hiatus from social media for the lent season I kind of never went back like I had in the past which had its up and down. I didn't post much after the fact but I also slack a lot in taking pictures of our every day moments that would normally be documented on social media and saved on my phone for memories. Needless to say that I think I had more than just writer's block and I miss having those precious memories caught on camera. 

So yeah maybe social media is not the root of all evil, as long as you use it for the greater good. You know like a place to document the fun and happy memories and be happy for those that post the same instead of using it to compare yourself on the "highlights" of others. I've learned and grown a lot the past couple of years and I hope to keep on learning and growing in the years to come. 

And so here we go again, welcome aboard to My Married Life! My adventures, frustrations, happiness and all the in-between. 

School year 2018-19

Adrian J is in Kindergarten and is 5 years old 

Steven J is in Seventh grade and is 12 years old

I cannot believe my oldest is mid way through his junior high years. I mean, where did the time go? It feels like it was just a couple of years ago that I was dropping him off in Kindergarten. Now I'm dropping off my youngest at Kindergarten! What is happening here!?

They both have grown so much this year. My mommy heart is extremely happy yet at the same time sad that there are no more babies in the house. Some days I sit back and just watch you boys. Watch your personalities and how much you have grown. I think back on those days when you were just a few months old and I would cradle you in my arms and rock you to sleep. Those days that you you depended on daddy and I to do everything for you and now you can do pretty much everything for yourselves. 

This past summer I came across several posts that said "we only get eighteen summers"and I started to think on how much truth there was to that. Eighteen summers, that's all we get before they run off and start making their own plans and decisions. *sigh* Lord have mercy on my momma heart as I savor in the summers that remain.