A Place:

After years and years of waiting to have a place of our own. A place to call our home. A place to make our home. There's no other place beside our house that I'm most thankful for. 

For starter, this house was a gift. It wasn't in the best of shape but little by little it is being transform to a place where we will always look back at and remember all the precious memories we created in it. The early years of our marriage. The place where our son learned how to ride a bike and learned how to be a big brother. The place where we brought home our second child. The place that taught us what were must have in our next house and what we do not need. The place where we learned the true responsibilities of a home owner. The place that saw me grow into homemaker. All of our ups and down. There is no mistaken that this is the most important place I could be thankful for. 

Little by little and one project at a time this house has become more then what it once was. From a cold, scary, tasteless place to a place that held my family together through it all and saw us each grow into our best version of one another. From my mother-in-law to renters and now us this place is more then a house we were gifted. This place is now Our Home and I will forever be thankful for it. 

An Event:

I can recall many events that I am thankful for for shaping me into who I am today. One very important event that without it I wouldn't be where I am today has been meeting my husband. 

That cold winter day of February 2005 in school where we first laid eyes on each other. Where we first exchanged a Hello and smiles. Without that day my sons wouldn't be here today, I wouldn't be a married woman nor a blogger. If that day I wouldn't of met my husband who knows where I would have ended up. I have learned so much. He has taught me so much. It has been a beautiful journey and I just cannot think of going through the last 8+ years of my life without him. He has helped me grow from a young girl into a woman. A wife, a mother, and even a better daughter. Thank you Steven!

Marie from Candidly Marie is hosting mini-linkup on Thursdays about being thankful during this month. 

Sometimes we don't appreciate what we've been blessed with be it a person, a place, an event, and so on. Not to say that just because is November, a month for giving thanks, that we should go all year without being thankful for what we have. But I guess we're reminded more this time of year to go a little further and show our gratitude. Last week topic was A Person. I appreciate every single person in my life for putting up with me ;) but there's one in particular that I'd like to recognize on this link up and that's my husband. 

We're high school sweethearts and that means he has put up with me for over 8 years now. We both know I am not the easiest person and I can be a bit stubborn, as can he. Yet even so he decided to spend the rest of his life with me. Me. And I will be forever flattered and grateful for that. 

Not only that but he has been an amazing father and a great provider. Providing for his family comes first in his book. He's so understanding about my school and supports me 100%. He works hard to allow me to work a part time so that I can be home more with the boys. Yes night shift has been rough on us and he much rather have me working a "normal" schedule but he understands is what works for now. 

Thank you for being who you are my love. For loving me. For being on my side. I know I don't say it enough but I hope you never doubt my love for you.

For some odd reason I thought this was going to be hard to come up with. Random facts? Where do I even begin. I started to jot down little things about the hubby and before I knew it I had cover 15 random facts about him. Now these may not all be random but one thing I've realized is that if I was verbally describing my hubby you would think I'm nuts because I'd probably do one heck of a bad job and create a complete opposite image of who is is/looks like. 

So who is my hubby? 

He is obsessed with the gym. He works out daily. Even on Saturdays. Even when he's sick. Obsession right?

He watches nothing but Discovery, History, Animal Planet, Travel Chanel, National Geographic, ID, A&E, and like 2 more I'm forgetting.

 He's a bit on the old fashion side. He's all about providing and for me to maintain the house up to part.

He loves loves loves peanut butter and jelly cookies. They don't last a day when I make them.

The top half of his body is covered in tattoos. Well about 75% of it. including his whole back.

 Since we've been together he has fractured or broken a bone every 2-3 years faithfully. One of those times he fractured his knees playing football hours before our first son christening.

 He was voted most flirt during senior year for the yearbook. 

He's a better cook than me. Literally. His after high school plan was to become a chef. And while in high school he worked in several restaurants in the kitchen.

His closet space is twice as big as mine. For the simple reason that he has more than twice the amount of clothes then I.

 He owns over 50 pairs of shoes. #truestory

Boy can he talk your ear off. Sometimes he just doesn't know when to stop. And he doesn't admit it. 

 He rather pay someone to fix something around the house then doing it himself. My husband is not handy at all.

He hates taking picture. I get a lecture without fail before every outing.

 He was suppose to be a twin but twin A died in womb. ( I secretary pray to be blessed with twins next time around)

He has the longest and curliest lashes I've ever seen. 

I'm sure I can keep going but this should be enough for now. 

I

 The meaning of marriage. 

It varies from person to person and couple to couple but many of us can agree that marriage is commitment. You commit yourselves, and vise versa, to spend the rest of your life with one person. To love them till the end of time. To be faithful and respect them. To care for them and be by their side in the good and the bad. To build a life with them. To grow together. To build a family and create a legacy. Your legacy. We can spend hours upon hours talking about the meaning of marriage and it it means to each of us. However at the end of the day what really matter is what marriage means to you as a couple. Yes as a couple. Because if you both are not on the same page your marriage will be nothing like what you dreamt  it would be. 

Loyalty and Respect. You owe it to your other half to be loyal to them and to respect them. They chose you to spend the rest of their life with. That's something we shouldn't take for granted. 

Companionship. It means to walk through life with each other. Sharing the good and the bad. To grow old together and when old age comes reminise about that journey you just took. Together. 

Affection. Is not all about the kids, dinner parties, and holidays. Number one on the list should be about you and your spouse. Kissing and holding hands shouldn't stop after the honeymoon phase is over. It should continue forever. The date nights. The couples getaways. The compliments and small simple gifts. The cuddles. The quality time. That's what keeps the fire going in a marriage. 

Not giving up. Marriage is forever. Life is hard and we shouldn't expect marriage to be any different. If there's an issue work it out. Disagreements are good, you became husband and wife, it doesn't mean that you gave up your identity. Sacrifices will have to be made but the outcome will be so much more worth it. 

I honestly believe that marriages today are not what they used to be. And that my friend is a sad truth. Reason being because I see many couples getting married because they are forced into it. Usually by the other person through persuasion. Or simply because they want the nice wedding with the white dress. Is no longer about building a family, loving intensively, growing old together. 

I married my husband because I love him. Because he made me happy. He made me want to do better, be better. Because I wanted to make him happy. Because be was my son's father. Because I wanted to build a family with him. Because I wanted to grow old with him. I married my husband because he is my better half. 

   

 

I remember being a child. About 5-6 years old. Being nurturing. Caring for my younger cousins and neighbors. I loved it. I always knew that someday I'd be a mother. A great mother. It was in my nature. 

Fast forward several years later. We moved to the United States. My mother, my brother and sister, and myself. My dad was unable to come because my parents weren't legally married. It was then when I was force to grow up faster then I had hoped. My mother was a single mother with 3 children to care for and bills to pay. She worked at a factory your regular 8 hours shift and I remember her doing a double from time to time to help ends meet. It was rough but she had me. She also had family but sisters that had their own hands full with their own family to care for. 

I learned to cook at age 11. Not your regular boiled egg or sandwiches. I was cooking rice, chicken, fried food, etc. she worked 2-11p so I was responsible for coming home and feeding my siblings with the food she had left us. When she did a double she would leave me notes on what to do/cook or the food half prepared so that I can finish it. I remember sharing a room with my brother and and having my sister sleep in my twin size bed with me until my mom got home, then she would put her in bed with her. Now don't go thinking my mom was irresponsible or unfit. She would have a neighbor keep an eye on us while we were home and put us to bed. Plus I was very responsible and mature for my age. 

After she switched to a day position we moved to an apartment where my brother had his own room and I had my own room. Until my youngest sister was born and then she slept with my mom and my middle sister slept with me. In a bigger bed this time :) Here I was responsible for helping her get us to daycare and school in the morning and get us home in the afternoon. This was at age 12. After my younger sister was born my responsibilities increased a bit more. I was like a second mom to her. She was my doll but in human form haha. 

That's how I grew up. Since age 11 I was always helping my mother around the house, caring for my younger siblings, growing up way too fast while missing out on my own childhood. Translating for her to the best of my ability when we had appointments and were out in public. I never thought I was missing out. I didn't know any better. She would walk us to the park on the weekends, birthday parties from friends from work, if we wanted something and she had the money she would get it from us. She tried as hard as she could to give us what we wanted. Most importantly what we needed. I can honestly say that a meal was never missing in our home. I didn't know what I was really missing until later in my teens and even now. Which i like to think it wasn't much. Reading and learning about others childhood makes me wish I had one similar. More fun. With less responsibilities. Yet I don't regret the one I had because that childhood impacted the woman I am today. 

For starters I appreciate my mother so so so much. She worked her butt of to raise 4 children on her  own never giving up and surviving on little food and lack of sleep to make sure we had what we needed. We didn't have it all but we had enough. All thanks to her hard work. 

I grew up knowing exactly what to do different so that my children have a better childhood. I learned from her mistakes. I may have flaws but those flaws teach me robe a better person with each passing day. 

I learned early on what it was that I wanted and how I wanted to be. 

I learn to have a different respect for all mothers out there. Even more for those raising kids on their own. 

I may have a childhood full of gaps of things I may have missed. I may wish I didn't have these gaps. But the important thing is being able to appreciate at least having a childhood. Whether it was full of responsibilities or not. Because even if I did have to take my little sisters with me places, I can still count the amount of fun I had and the memories made. 

Dear Pamela, 

Girlfriend what do you think you're doing? You're only sixteen. Get yourself back home. Trust me, you'll be much better off if you do. Boys are not that important at this age. You shouldn't give them all your attention. Understand that you're in love with the idea of being in love. But you won't find love at this age. You'll only find heartaches and heartbreaks. But don't worry is not the end of the world, you'll get through it. Give yourself time to enjoy this stage. Go out with friends. Build friendships that will last a lifetime. Get into fashion. Focus in school. School is that one area you should focus on. You'll come to regret it in the future if you don't. 

Listen to your mother. Mother always knows best. You'll realize this in a few years yourself and all the issues between you now will be forgotten.  Is the greatest of feeling. Is true what they say, your mother is your best friend, the only one there for you when you really need someone. The one who will love you over all no matter how many mistakes you make or how much you fight. A mothers love goes above and beyond don't take it for granted. 

Please stop with that shyness. Keep your reservations if you like but be a bit more open. Don't be afraid to speak up, to speak your mind. Your accent is just fine, give yourself more credit then what you actually do. Don't get embarrassed if you get corrected, it'll only make you better and more sophisticated! You're beautiful just the way you are, don't let anyone tell you otherwise or make you feel less. 

Save your money. You've been working a year now and have nothing saved or nothing that you've bought that has been worth it. You should really learn to make it a habit, a must with every paycheck. You make decent money for your age don't just throw it away on garbage and fast food. It'll come in handy more than once to have a chunk saved and it'll build good money managing skills. I know I know you want to buy nice things and spend most of your money eating out but really? Do you want to ruin your health eating fast food?

Prepare yourself to start college after high school. Don't let anything stand in your way. Be ambitious. Don't settle. Hard work always pays off. You're smart, but you're letting yourself become too influenced by those that will not be in your future at all. Enjoy their company now but don't get attached and be quick to say goodbye when the time comes. There's only a selected few that will stick around, I'm sure you can identify who they are now. 

Your siblings look up to you. You're their role model. Remember that whatever you do will influence how they turn out to be so be careful with the choices you make. Spend more time with them, as a family. You will all become so close in the future :) 

When love comes knocking at your door, which will be sooner than you can anticipate, don't take it for granted. Appreciate it. Enjoy it. Love it. That's true love and it's hard to come across it nowadays don't let it slide away due to your insecurities. He chose you. You! Be the best that you can be and make it last or you'll end up regretting it every day for the rest of your life. You will marry this man and have two beautiful boys. Your pride and joy. But let's be real, if you don't get your act together you can loose it all. Please focus on what's really important. And don't ever forget, God always comes first. 

Live in the moment, make it count, make decisions you'll be proud of for years on end. 10 years from now everything you think means the world to you now won't even be in you'll life. If you take this advice, life will be just perfect. Everything you ever wanted you'll have. In just 10 short years. Hang in there pretty lady ;) 

Love, 

Your Future Self (at mid 20s) 

This was me. In 11th grade. Ooh high school, how much do I not miss you. Or maybe I do. Do I?

You see. I wasn't that known in high school. Does that mean I wasn't popular? Yup! That's exactly what it means. I like to think it was because of my shyness. I wasn't the type to just walk-in in a classroom and start making friends. I was the one that would walk in, grab a seat (in the back because I didn't want to be noticed or the front because I enjoyed the class) and mind my business. Hahaha now that I think of it what was I thinking? I hope my children are not like that at all. 

My freshman year I had my BFF since the 5th grade to hang around with. So I didn't care much about anyone else. I'd even say most of the friendships I made that year were because of her. That was a fun year. The best out of the four. 

Then boyfriends happened. We drifted apart. I got lonely and joined Votech and never looked back. I was in my home school half a day and in Votech the other half. This is we're I made the friendship I still have to this day. In cosmetology to be exact. That's we're my next three years were spent. And I loved every bit of it. Except that I wish I would of went into the health field back then instead of hair because honestly I didn't do nothing with that. Although, I did learn how to cut, color, and perm ;) 

Anyway. It wasn't until my senior year, four months before graduation, when I met my husband and realized that I should of had stay full time. I should of had taken advantage of those four years like I should have. The dances. The pep rallies. The games. The after school activities. The friendships that could of been formed but didn't. 

My hubby was everything I wasn't. So much so that the first few sentences we spoke he asked if I was new to the school because he had never seen me around. That tells you enough don't you think? Shame on him. Shame on me. Sometimes I think of how different could those years have been if I would have stayed. Now I will never know. I do however love how it turned out. And I guess is what really matters after all no. 

Now lets see. What else do I remember of those sweet years. Oh yes. The free texting. From my little Nokia cell. 

Oooo how about the little snake game. Does anyone remember it? What was the name?

The teenage dance clubs. Oh did my cousins and I take advantage of that hahaha. Did you ever go clubbing at 15? To be fair no alcohol was served, our parents would drop us off and pick us up... Most times. 

Getting my first job at 15 at Taco Bell. Great great times there. 

Getting my license at 16! Oh yeah. I was cool alright lol 

Throwing house parties and kicking my mom out (she never would leave tho. She would hang out upstairs and check up on us from time to time). 

Skipping school. I use to freak out! Always worried we would get caught. And we did. Who skips school and goes back home to hide? This lady right here. 

Leaving lunch to go out to Wendy's and Subway. Those were the good ol' days. 

So many memories. So many different faces. So many firsts.

 

This topic has brought up some challenge to even start it up. For the simple reason that we moved a lot during my childhood. From Dominican Republic to New Jersey then New York and finally Pennsylvania. And even in PA we moved another 3 times before I moved out and started my own family. 

As I started to dig through my collections of pictures to see what I found and what spoke to me. I wanted to make sure that the place I talked about in this post was the place where most of my memories were. And even before going through my album I knew exactly which place it would be. 

This one. This is the place where we lived the longest. Where I lived for for half of my middle school years and all of high school. The place where I brought my mom my first boyfriend. Where I celebrated my 15 years of life. The place that witnessed the many fights and arguments with my mother and siblings.   The place where my family would gather for holidays, birthdays, and parties. The place where we shared my grandmother's last days. And the place my firstborn got to make memories of his own. 

As if that isn't enough this is the very same place my mother-in-law brought my husband home to after his birth. Coincidence or Fate? This too was her childhood home. Where she shared some of those very moments I spoke about above. Where she had many of her first. 

Although this place is no more and although there's a new family that lives there who's making memories of their own, this place will always take up a special space in my heart. Too many happy memories that will never be forgotten. To many shed tears that have turned me into the young adult I am today. This place will always be my childhood home. 

To me, being a mother are many things. Things that some may not even think can be possible. As teenagers and as we're growing we become these selfish people. Everything is about us and we only have to worry about ourselves. We work mainly to keep up with the trend. We want to look our best when we go out with our friends. Manis and Pedis on a regular. And let me not get started on our hair. In my case it was weekly visits to the hair salon. We live such a lifestyle that we can never imagine fitting a little bundle of joy in our oh so wonderful life. 

Then we become parents. And as a mother myself I can testify that that person we once were is no more. Now don't get me wrong. With time we learn to manage our time and work together with that little bundle to have that fabulous life back. Sorta. Key word there "with time". 

Motherhood is: 

-Putting your kids needs before your own. 

-running late often. 

-skipping doing your hair before leaving the house. 

-being the first to wake up and the last to go to bed. 

-feeling exhausted after a long day to just start over again the next. 

-we spend the rest of our life watching our heart living outside our bodies. 

Now, you might be thinking "is this girl trying to scare the newly pregnant ladies out there?" Because that's what it sounds like. But hear me out a minute. All those things are inevitable once your a newlymother. And like I mentioned before, with time you learn to manage these things and become an expert at working them into your routine. 

And now for the perks of motherhood: 

-nothing brightens your day better then that sweet face staring at you in the morning wanting breakfast. 

- we have and get magical kisses. 

-our kids think of us as a superhero. 

-we become the most important person in someone else's life. 

-we have a motivator. We want to do our best for our kids. Nothing seems impossible. 

-our heart sing after hearing soft gentle voices call us mommy. 

-we become furious beasts with hulk-like strength when it comes to defending our kids. 

Motherhood is the most precious gift on this earth. Mother is only and always number 1! I'd take walking in late to an appointment with my hair undone and clothes smelling like vomit any day to experience the joy of being a mother. 

 

When we're young and child-less we can think of a hundred things we would never let our kids do or doourselves to our kids. Then you get pregnant, give birth, and become a mother and bam! All is forgotten. 

For whatever reason, these are the things I said I'd never do...

1. Co-Sleep - from all the horror stories to wanting to maintain our room just that "our room" I didn't want to get our kids used to sleeping with us. Then almost six years after having Steven jr we found ourselves still co-sleeping with this child. He's finally broken the habit and sleeps in his own room, most times, but now AJ has picked up the pieces and sleeps with us. We certainly don't mind it and many times I wake up to find all four of us in our Queen size bed but you know what? Those are the moments I treasure most :) 

2. Use technology to keep them entertained - guilty guilty guilty. I know television is not as educational as a book but it is so beneficial when I'm home alone trying to clean and cook. Or even shower. I do think however that I let Steven spend too much time either watching tv or on the iPad but I'm working on that. There'll be new and strict rules about this this school year in our home.  

3. Skip bedtime - this is a bit harder. I don't know if its my culture but many times we're never home for bedtime and thus both kids don't make it to bed well past it. I'm sure Steven jr doesn't mind it. AJ in the other hand gets so cranky as the time passes. If we're not home I try to get them ready for bed with baths etc wherever we are in case they fall asleep on the drive home that way we don't wake them to get them ready instead of just putting then in bed. Not being home is mostly the reason they never make it to bed by bedtime. 

4. Let my kids look bummy - letting Steven pick his own clothes even though they don't match is letting him be himself. Letting him learn to be independent. I've realized that that's not being a irresponsible parent. That's allowing them to create their own identity. Now that at times I have to put my foot down because boy does my son have no sense of fashion hahaha (he gets that from his momma hahaha) but he's learning. He's getting there. With AJ. Well that's another case. 

5. Compare my kids - whether is to each other or other kids. Not comparing is hard. And I don't mean comparing as in competition on who wearing what and such. I mean with educationaland developmental milestones. Like in AJ's case. I know a few babies born around the same time and some are more advance at certain things and at times I've found myself saying well AJ isn't doing that. Why isn't he? Why Is that baby so much bigger? Bla bla bla I don't worry about his development because I know all babies are different and do things at their own pace but as parents sometimes we just can't help it. Am I alone on this one?

Ooh parenthood. What a journey and a learning experience you've been.