I want to see what people see

When you have strangers stoping you to let you know that you are beautiful and compliment you on your features, work, etc it leaves you no choice but wonder what it is that they are seeing in you.

I don't know if many can relate but this is how I feel. 

Confession. I've always struggled with my looks. It was always one thing or another. My hair was not soft enough. My skin color was too dark. My head was too oval looking. I was too skinny. My butt was not big enough. My breast are too small. I  don't have a sense for fashion or can't apply make up nice enough like others can. I was just average. It all messed with my self esteem for way too long and I mean long like until recently. 

I'm pretty and beautiful from the outside and the inside. I know I can look really pretty if I dress up. But I don't feel pretty if I'm just lounging around in my pjs. I need to have my hair done and wear at least eyeliner to feel pretty. But when you have strangers upon strangers telling you how beautiful you are even when you feel you look your worse it makes you wonder what it is that they see in you. I know I do. 

Lately I've been paying close attention at my features and talking selfies hahaha you know to see if I see the same thing and although I really don't see what they see it has made me realize that we are all beatiful in one way or another. So what if I don't have a flat stomach or if wear my hair crazy from time to time. What matter is my personality and that is what enhances my looks and makes me look different to others. Is not all about the physical looks. Not always anyways. I can use my own sissy as an example I feel that she's gorgeous. Even when she's looking all crazy but her personality and attitude make her so ugly and unbearable at the same time. Is true. We do not have any sort of relationship due to her attitude and it's sad. 

As I was saying. I've been paying close attention to the compliments I get and my attitude about it and they're right I am beautiful. I need to accept it and wear it proudly every single day regardless of what I'm wearing or what I feel needs improvements. The way I truly feel about myself will not change unless I I start accepting my flaws or minor physical feature. 

I've realized that no one can love me unless I love myself so I need to start seeing what others see. I might be weird for making friends online hahaha and not perfect in the eyes of society but I'm unique. There's no other like me and that makes me pretty awesome! 

xoxo

Pamela