1st Year of Nursing School *part 2

The second semester, which was Med/Surg nursing, well that was a different story. I was screwed from the very first test. Definitively no common sense there. Remember when I said that "I was indeed smart enough for nursing school"? well by the end of the first month I was back at questioning my abilities to succeed in nursing school. I had never cried so much, I had never dealt with so much anxiety and frustration. I even took a couple of trips o the doctor's office regarding my severe anxiety and of course right away they wanted to start me on medications but after taking pharmacology I wanted nothing to do with meds.

I decided to take more of a holistic and prayer approach to my anxiety issues but by that time it was a little too late. I needed a miracle to pass the class and unfortunately I didn't get it. I failed out of med/surg and I had never felt so defeated. I honestly didn't know what I was doing wrong. I felt that I was studying a lot but the question was, was I studying effectively? It was very disappointing failing and letting my family down. They were a great support system helping me in which ever way they were able and here I was failing.

I remember coming to my mom after my first test and telling her "Mom, I failed my test." her response, "Damn Pamela. Is that why you have been killing yourself studying for? Is that why I'm picking up your lack, so you can fail your test?" and then she walked away. I cried my ass out! that was just my first test. I didn't even dare telling my husband. Then at the end of the semester having to tell them I failed the course was torture. I honestly don't even remember how I told them or what was their reaction. And quite frankly I don't want to remember it either. 

There was not a doubt within me that believe that I wasn't meant to be a nurse, so failing out of nursing school or changing careers was not an option. I emailed my program coordinator and told her I was planning on returning and she was a sweetheart about it. I began to analyze the past semester and figure out what I was doing wrong to change it for the next time. First on the list was dealing with my anxiety. I was determined to get myself together, focus, and have realistic expectations. 

I had to wait five months before starting med/surg again. In between that time I found ways to study effectively and ways to reduce my anxiety, especially for testing days. Guys, nursing school is no joke. Nursing school has been the hardest thing I've ever done. Nursing school is about prioritizing, and that means your family is no longer #1 on the list. Nursing school is hard but it's not impossible if you are dedicated and focused. 

The things that helped me this time around was staying organized. I planned a lot, especially my studying time. I did most of my studying in the library, I didn't study in groups, I focused less on the actual disease itself and more on the nursing care/intervention and the teaching aspect of it. I practice nclex style questions, studied one topic at a time, and utilized the resources I had available without trying not to get overwhelmed by all the options. I'm a visual learner so YouTube was my best friend. 

I'm not proud about having to repeat the course, but I have to admit that repeating it was a lesson for sure. I went from grades in the 70s the first time around to grades in the high 80s, high 90s, and even a 100. I got a 100 on my Endocrine system exam! Things happen for a reason. Would I want to fail again? Hell No! Do I want to pass with a nice grade? You bet!

And that was my first (plus) year in nursing school. A complete roller coaster.