This post was meant to be published on 12.10.17 yet it seems I scheduled it and never actually clicked "publish".
Bittersweet.
This week has been full of mixed emotions. Last year at this exact time I was dealing with major anxiety and disappointment. I wasn't doing so good in school, and I needed a really high grade in my final exam to pass the course. Needless to say that that I didn't pass.
I remember sitting on the edge of my bed when I received the notification that grades were in. I was actually packing for our trip to Mexico. I was so nervous that I even contemplated waiting till we got back from Mexico to view my grade but a classmate that had been helping me study messaged me as I sat there starring at my phone. We went back and forth talking about grades and reasons why I should or shouldn't open up the grade book. When she finally told me her grade I just knew that I was F@$#ed! there was no way I had scored higher than her and I knew I needed my grade to be way higher then what she had passed the final with.
I finally logged in and within seconds tears filled my eyes. I got a big lump on my throat and my whole body began to shake. I sent her my grade and she called me immediately. I couldn't hold back the tears and I cried like never before. We talked for over an hour as she tried consoling me and lifting up my spirit but it wasn't helping. I remember I kept saying "It's okay. I'm okay" but deep down I was crushed. I cried a while longer and then said a prayer, after all there was nothing else I could have done besides accept the facts.
A year later and after retaking the course I am proud to say that I passed with a 90.6% and I just completed 2 out of 4 specialty rotations. We are also sitting in the airport as I type this waiting for our flight back to Mexico. Last year we traveled to Mexico to celebrate hubby's 30th birthday and we loved it so much that we decided to return and bring the kiddos along. We are convinced that our boys will love Mexico just as much.
Personally I feel that this year has brought me so much growth. I loved seeing how the year unfolded. Last December I was crushed, depressed, and disappointed. It was BAD! I tried staying focused and started the year with a positive outlook in life but I won't deny that I had my moments of despair. Overall it was a good year. A year of healing, which I truly do believe really helped me accept the facts as well as to fight for what I truly wanted.
And as I sit here, looking at my boys excitement and my hubby zoned in to his music, I can't help but to feel blessed and to be thankful for the many things that can change in just one year. I love to reflect on the moments in my life when I felt the world was crumbling down on me and to see how God's Mercy and Grace have fallen on me. To see how true is the verse Roman 8:28, how God uses everything, whether good or bad, to work together for good.
Thank You Jesus!
the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset. -as stated by Google.
That's my word for 2018.
This was actually pretty easy to decide on. All through 2017 I noticed that I had little to no patience. I wanted things to happen right away and I wanted nothing more than to just get through whatever I was working at at the moment. Whether it was with school, buying a new home, getting pregnant, working, saving more, you name it! I also noticed that my patience was very limited with my own children. I would get mad often and I would lose control faster than I should have which would then make me feel guilty and like the worse mother ever. So as 2017 ended and I gave thought to what word I wanted to embrace on the new year and patience was screaming right at me.
Last year my word was Healing. I was emotionally crushed in so many ways and while at church early that year the message that particular Sunday convinced me that I needed spiritual healing in my life and all through the year I prayed and searched for ways to heal my soul and believe it or not by the end of 2017 I felt the change.
Ever since I started doing a word of the year I've concluded that by the end of that particular year I was able to gain a new perspective in life. It has seriously been one of the best idea ever invented. So thank you to whom ever came up with this, this has truly been a great way to grow and mature year after year.
Ever since I started doing a word of the year I've concluded that by the end of that particular year I was able to gain a new perspective in life. It has seriously been one of the best idea ever invented. So thank you to whom ever came up with this, this has truly been a great way to grow and mature year after year.
So here's to 2018, the year of being patience and allowing life to do its work :)
Past Word of the Year:
2015 Grace
2016 Faith
2017 Healing
Happy New Year!
I am beyond excited on starting this new year. Want to know why? Well because 2018 will be a year of lots of accomplishments, new beginnings, and lots of surprises. I just have this amazing and warm feeling that 2018 is going to be great and I'm looking forward on seeing what this year has to offer us. 2017 was a great year for sure. Personal growth, family boding, and special outings were just a few of my favorites.
This year my goals are to continue on with some of the changes implemented last year, spend more time being present and involved and less time trying to capture a moment and uploading it to social media within seconds. I still plan on capturing the moment of course but that's where the being present and involved comes in. I've noticed that posting to social media takes away from enjoying the actual moment and that's something I want to work on this year. Like my friend Sarah over at Aloha EcoVibes says, I want to start living intentionally :)
Another big goal is to declutter this blog by removing meaningless posts from the past as well as trying to keep it up to date with special moments and thoughts that I want to remember. My goal is to post at least 4x a month which is realistic considering school still demands too many hours of my day. That being said, I plan on writing about some of the things we did last year that I didn't have the time to either write about or post when I wanted to, as well as to continue with the My Story series I had started last year. I was reading back on some of those posts and I loved the feelings it brought on so I definitely have to continue with those memories.
There are plenty of other goals I have in mind but I plan on introducing them here as they are completed and checked of my list so make sure you come by often to see what they are.
Wishing you all a prosperous and blessed 2018!
Pediatrics.
On to my second specialty rotation :)
My first specialty rotation after my second attempt at med/surg.
Just my luck, more med/surg but for little humans. At first I didn't know how to take it. Should I be happy that I have pediatrics right after med/surg being that the concepts are pretty much the same? or Did I want a break from all the med/surg crap? Well at this point I didn't have a choice. Pediatrics it was.
I'm not going to lie, it was hard. No room for procrastinating since it was only a 7 weeks rotation with 5 exams. It all started well, I passed my first, second, and third test without any issues. Again, lots of studying was involved. I had little anxiety and I was testing well. The material was easy to understand and I was actually interested in it. Then the cardiac section came along and although I loved it all I felt like I was back in med/surg the first time around. I couldn't get it all down packed and my anxiety started to creep back in. Let's just say it wasn't my best test out of the 5, but I had done well enough in the others that it really didn't affect me much. With one test to go I was having a little anxiety but it was all good in the end. As soon as the rotation finished we headed to celebrate. We were officially half way through the nursing program.
To be quite honest Peds isn't my thing. You need to have a calling for it and lots of patience, something that I lack even with being a mother. Don't get me wrong, the children were adorable and baths and changing diapers is a lot easier on little humans but giving meds to a toddler was not fun at all! Just imagine having to give meds to your toddler? Now imagine having to give meds to someone else's toddler? Big difference right. Yup, my point exactly. I rather give meds to an adult any day :) Whatever little patience I have went out the window the first minutes. Aside from that however, interacting with them was so much fun.
On another note, the very tiny humans were so much better to work with. I totally dig the NICU. I don't know exactly what it is about super tiny humans but I loved my experience in the NICU and I was lucky enough to have had an infant almost every day in clinical. It was definitively intimidating at first but I think that was more due to my lack of knowledge on their health issues and how to go about properly caring for them.
I didn't care much about the office setting neither. I didn't feel like I was really helping anyone. It involved a lot of parent teaching and gathering information for the provider. Kidspeace, a behavioral health inpatient setting was not my cup of tea either. It was sad learning about their family/medical history and to try and help them was very challenging. Is not my calling. Home health care was interesting, maybe it's something I can do after several years of experience in a hospital setting and with the proper training but at this moment is not something I want to do right after graduating. My calling is with the newborn and the premature babies which goes hand in hand with my love for Obstetrics but that's a topic for another post.
On to my second specialty rotation :)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Social Icons