Y’all! My journey is finally over. It truly is surreal to me. I still can't believe it to be quite honest. You all know how crazy and wild this journey has been. Many tears shed, many sleepless nights, many precious moments that I missed out on. And now, as I wake up each morning to get ready with my new nursing scrubs and as I'm going through this orientation with a new title on my badge is like wow, I did it. I really did it. God is good! several years ago this day felt like it would never come and here I am now, a week into my nursing career.
Early September I got a 30 days subscription for Uworld. I was working on it slowly the first couple of weeks but then when I scheduled my nclex and reality kicked in I started to really do questions upon questions. I had aimed for 150 questions a day with reviewing the rationales whether I had gotten it right or wrong. But as the test date neared and I started to panic I found myself doing anywhere between 150-300 questions a day. It was tough guys. Very tough. But I broke it down in sections. I would do a set of 75 then take a break then another set of 75 and repeat. My entire day was spent doing questions. I truly do believe that Uworld prepared me well. Whether it was the very detailed rationales or doing so many questions in one day (because I ended up getting all 265 questions you know) all that matters is that I passed and I am now a licensed registered nurse!
I also did lots and lots of praying. I truly do believe in the power of prayer, and so this victory is due to many factors.
Now in regards to taking the actual nclex let me just say that I found this test to be the hardest test ever. Maybe because I have major testing anxiety and because I’m a super slow tester with a short attention span. I felt that I was doing good. But when I had reach question 133 I was starting to doubt myself which led my mind to wonder talking away from my precious timed test, which then brought on even more anxiety and feeling overwhelmed. I ended up taking a five minutes break (or so I thought it was 5 minutes) because I had to shake it off. Then I started to run out of time and I started to rush through reading and answering the questions, worse thing to ever do. I honestly felt that I was going to have to repeat this test again. It was the worse feeling ever. I felt so defeated. Yet somehow, deep down, I felt that I had pass. But I knew that this would only possible through God’s grace because WOW! That test felt like the hardest thing to ever exist hahaha.
Nonetheless, here I am starting my career as a nurse. So for anyone that ever comes across this post I encourage you to read my journey through nursing school. It was not easy, it was not fun, it took a lot of perseverance but I never gave up. It didn't even crossed my mind, it was never an option. Never. I am so glad I pulled through, I am so glad to be living this reality, my reality.
A few weeks back I was having a conversation with a coworker who I like to think of as a friend. We were discussing how I've been feeling that she has been changing with me and I wanted to know what was up with that.
I have trust issues, I have been betrayed one too many times by "friends" to the point that I keep my circle of friends very small and I reserved that title to those who truly deserve it. I thought she was one of them, maybe she is, who knows but she made a comment that bothered me and apparently it still bothers me because I'm writing about it here.
This friend said something along the lines of "soon you'll be a nurse, you'll make nurse friends, and you will change because that's what people do, they change." For a split second I didn't understand what she meant by "you'll change" butt then I quickly remembered a doctor in my HIV Clinic experience who told me "after graduation people will say that you have changed and it's true you will change. You will change the way you think, the way you see things, and even possibly the places that you will shop at because that comes with the territory. You will lose many friends because of it and it's okay because you must change and they will never understand why you must change." Now his talk was more involved of course and he went on to explaining exactly what he meant by how I will be changing and he was right, I totally agree with him, nursing school is no joke and it forces you think differently and it trains your brain on seeing things different compared to lets say my husband who did not go through nursing school.
However, I am sure that what my friend meant by "you'll change" is that I will think that I am better than "them" and eventually I will stop talking to them and I will surround myself by other nurses. And frankly that hurt me a lot more than she think it did and this is why, which by the way I also made it known to her.
I was born in a third world country. At one point I was homeless, alongside my mother, in said country. I came to the USA and lived in the projects for many years while being raised by a single mother of four. I had my first child at nineteen years old. I was made fun of and bullied growing up, I didn't have many friends, and I was the ESL student that couldn't pronounce words let alone use them correctly. It took me many years, trials, tribulations, and hard work to make it through nursing school.
I don't say all this for people to have pity on me, I say this because I know what it is to have nothing and how much work it took to get where I am today and I'll be damned if I ever forget my roots. Yes maybe I will buy myself an expensive item once in a while but that doesn't mean my principles and morals have changed. If anything I love using my life experiences to encourage others to follow their dreams and fight for what they want.
Is inevitable, I will make nurse friends but it doesn't mean my trust issues will disappear and I'll forget about those who have proven themselves trustworthy. Her comment really did bother me and like I mentioned maybe she will never realize just how much. But it's okay because my roots will never change and neither will I forget.
OMG! Y'all! I'm a Grad Nurse!
August 9, 2018
Can you believe it?! Can you really though?! Because I'm still in shock. I mean yeah of course it was the ultimate goal but now that nursing school is officially over is like surreal. I have so much to blog about. I still have two specialties to talk about and then my precepting experience and then that's it in regards to nursing school on this blog. Well Nclex is the final step but its ok because there's no turning back now. I got this!
Guys! So much has happened in the past couple of months. Life has been super busy but is a good busy. If you would have asked me several years ago about how I thought life would be like today I probably would have not been able to say nothing compared to how I feel right now. I probably would have said that I’d hope to be “done” with nursing school but to actually be where I am today is indescribable.
Back in May I started my last semester of nursing school. 7 weeks of lectures and 7 weeks of precepting with a RN. I am officially one week away from ending the first of half of the semester. This feels surreal. I am so thankful. So grateful. So full of all kinds of emotions I can’t even explain.
And it gets better!
So... I was hired! Yes, you read right. I got a job offer back in mid April by my current employer. This was kind of expected but I didn’t think it would be as easy as it was ☺️
And even better!
I’m doing my preceptorship in the mother baby unit. And y’all know how I feel about this specialty right?!
Maternity has always been my passion and although I have decided to dedicate the first couple of years of my career learning and being exposed to as many experiences as possible in med surg I know deep down that my heart and soul belongs to women’s health.
Honestly I didn’t think I would get the opportunity to precept at mom baby. I was told from the beginning that it was nearly impossible to get it because usually students who work for the department get preference and GPA plays a big role. Yet I couldn’t just let it go without at least trying. And that’s exactly what I did. I kept my grades good. I made sure to connect with the right people (because many times is all about who you know and not what you know), and I made sure my name was known. I went to speak with the nurse manager of the unit simply to make her aware of my passion for OB and my background experiences in the field. Also my first name is not an easy name to forget. Even if not easily pronounceable and I knew that if she ever saw my name again she would remember it 😉 (Thanks Mom!). So yes I may have cheated a little bit but I like to say that I was being proactive and took matters into my on hands. Well first I prayed about it and allowed God to guide me to the next steps.
It’s not always peaches and cream however. In the same email I got informing me of the great news I also received news that I would be precepting over night. 7p-7a. Nooooo!!!!! As you might remember I did two years working nights at the mom baby unit for my current employer and it was tough. Needless to say I was less than thrilled about it. For a slight moment I thought I had jumped into the tiger's mouth and F***ed my own life. But the more time I’ve had to think about it the more I’m starting to get a good feeling about it. There’s a reason for everything and I have a feeling that this is exactly where I need to be in order for the next phase of my life to take place.
I am extremely excited, thankful, and feeling super blessed. And to be honest, I don’t understand how things have fallen into place the way they have with school, home/family/finances, my employer working so well with school schedule, the precepting days and hours and so many other things. I just don’t know what I did to deserve all this goodness but I am very much thankful for it all ☺️ God is good y'all, God is good.
Cheers!
Here’s to my last 7 weeks in nursing school!!!
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