Hours away from being six weeks postpartum it hits me. I'm an adult. A wife. A Mother! I can't no longer come and go as I please. Yes, I've been a mother way longer than six weeks but it was only to one child. A child that was the first grandson on both sides of the family. A child who loves being at his grandmother's house and a child who we could always find a babysitter for. As parents we were still able to go out dancing or visit friends as far as a couple of hours away. As for further trips it was so much easier too because he is older and no longer an infant or toddler. Somehow we've always managed to take him everywhere we went with the exception of our trip to Costa Rica in 2010. And even then as a four year old we called him every day from the resort and we missed him dearly. So what is this big reality check I'm talking about?
It all started several weeks ago when I started planning our trips for the year. We, or I should really say I, wanted to take at least two trips this year. A family trip to California to visit the sister-in-law and take our son to Legoland and Disneyland and a cruise for our anniversary since we weren't able to take one last year. The family trip was put on hold for later in the year due to my sister-in-law and her husband moving from their current location to San Diego in a couple of months. Ok not too bad we just have to push it a bit further. However, yesterday I called the husband to inform him of my plans to make reservations for our cruise and to purchase our flight tickets before they go up again (the cruise departs from San Juan, PR). His response: "Pam don't you think is a little too soon and selfish of you to book a 9 days trip with a newborn in the house". Mind you that his lecture was more than just one sentence and it lasted about an hour.
I didn't see anything wrong with wanting to go away for 9 days for some us time. I mean I love our kids and trust our parents and is not like they'll be staying with strangers or friends for that matter. But after it was all done and I processed what he meant I started to feel selfish and I was pretty upset. How dare I want to be away from my sweet baby boy not even a year after his birth. What kind of mother am I? He made it clear that he wasn't canceling the trip he just wanted to include the kids too so I started my research on where we should go. And that my friends is when it hit me. We can no longer come and go as we've done the previous years and do you have any idea how hard it is to plan a family trip with a child that is not even a year old. Yes he'll fly for free and stay for free at resorts but how could we really enjoy ourselves when he can't even walk? How will our older son enjoy himself when we have to think of the baby whenever we want to do something. From going on a cruise to going to Atlantis it just seems impossible! (I'm open to any suggestion you'd like to offer now).
I think back to when I debated to have another child because I was concern about school but I failed to take into consideration how drastically was starting over would change our lives. Not just as a family but more importantly as a couple. No more couple trips not for a few years at least. Now I understand why normal people don't wait 6+ years between childbirths. Ok, so maybe I am being a bit selfish but come on I'm just trying to keep the fire alive. I don't want us to let our marriage fall apart because we are focusing only on the kids and the family.
So what's the verdict on the trips for the year? Unknown.
I'm sure we will come up with a place to go to and it will be a great family vacation. So be on the lookout for a follow up post to this.
Good Night.
It all started several weeks ago when I started planning our trips for the year. We, or I should really say I, wanted to take at least two trips this year. A family trip to California to visit the sister-in-law and take our son to Legoland and Disneyland and a cruise for our anniversary since we weren't able to take one last year. The family trip was put on hold for later in the year due to my sister-in-law and her husband moving from their current location to San Diego in a couple of months. Ok not too bad we just have to push it a bit further. However, yesterday I called the husband to inform him of my plans to make reservations for our cruise and to purchase our flight tickets before they go up again (the cruise departs from San Juan, PR). His response: "Pam don't you think is a little too soon and selfish of you to book a 9 days trip with a newborn in the house". Mind you that his lecture was more than just one sentence and it lasted about an hour.
I didn't see anything wrong with wanting to go away for 9 days for some us time. I mean I love our kids and trust our parents and is not like they'll be staying with strangers or friends for that matter. But after it was all done and I processed what he meant I started to feel selfish and I was pretty upset. How dare I want to be away from my sweet baby boy not even a year after his birth. What kind of mother am I? He made it clear that he wasn't canceling the trip he just wanted to include the kids too so I started my research on where we should go. And that my friends is when it hit me. We can no longer come and go as we've done the previous years and do you have any idea how hard it is to plan a family trip with a child that is not even a year old. Yes he'll fly for free and stay for free at resorts but how could we really enjoy ourselves when he can't even walk? How will our older son enjoy himself when we have to think of the baby whenever we want to do something. From going on a cruise to going to Atlantis it just seems impossible! (I'm open to any suggestion you'd like to offer now).
I think back to when I debated to have another child because I was concern about school but I failed to take into consideration how drastically was starting over would change our lives. Not just as a family but more importantly as a couple. No more couple trips not for a few years at least. Now I understand why normal people don't wait 6+ years between childbirths. Ok, so maybe I am being a bit selfish but come on I'm just trying to keep the fire alive. I don't want us to let our marriage fall apart because we are focusing only on the kids and the family.
So what's the verdict on the trips for the year? Unknown.
I'm sure we will come up with a place to go to and it will be a great family vacation. So be on the lookout for a follow up post to this.
Good Night.
Dear Adrián,
A month has passed since your spontaneous delivery and it's hard to accept how much you've changed already. I waited over nine months to meet you and that time seemed to have passed by so slowly and now that you are here time seems to just be flying by.
Your first month check up is not until tomorrow (Feb 5) but it is obvious that you have an extra pound or two on you. You even seem longer to me. At birth you were so tiny that even your newborn clothes didn't fit well and now I'm changing you 2-3 times a day just so you get to wear them all. The puffiness around your eyes have almost faded away completely. Your cheeks are definitely fuller now. Your skinny arms and legs have some extra fat making your wrinkles disappear. Your neck is so strong it's just crazy. That gave us some challenge during your two weeks photo shoot. You have even started to smile and not just as a reflex. For instant, this morning before nursing I held you and stared at your face as I said good morning and you just stared back and gave me not just "a smile" but a few of them. And let me just say that you have the sweetest smile ever! It melts my heart. That right there made my day so thank you! I can't wait to see more of it in the weeks to come.
My only concern this first month has been your dripping eyes. You seem to have a clog tear drop and it is not getting any better. It first started in one eye and then that eye got better but then the other eye started with it. Now both eyes have it. I hope this is nothing of major concern and that the doctor tells us it'll all be clear soon.
The first two weeks of your life your big brother was sick. Whether it was a fever, a cough, the flu, or a fever again it made it impossible for him to bond with you which had him very sad and a little bit jealous since you were getting so much attention while he was mostly confined in his room day and night. But now things are much better and since he got over his sickness he has been by your side every day. Whether is kissing you, admiring you, telling you just how "cute" you are and even trying to hold you. One thing that gets to him is your cry though lol. Even though you have the cutest cry he can't bare watch you cry. He gets anxious and repeats over and over again that you're a baby and need to be held all the time and need to eat a lot. He even says that if we don't pick you up he's going to pick you up himself. I pray to God he doesn't try that.
Your feedings have been great. Since day one you've latched on like a pro. Then you got lazy and made me hurt for a while by not latching correctly. Thankfully that didn't last too long. You are only breastfeed and you don't seem to mind it at all. Since I go to school some days during the week I leave you some milk to hold you until I get back and although you don't mind drinking from a bottle you certainly prefer to be fed by mommy at each feeding. Just so you know, that's my favorite method of feeding you too ;). You can take up to 3oz a feeding and sometimes even 4oz. Some days you really go in on it and nurse for 40-60 minutes every two hours. It can be a little too much but hey I don't mind it if you are getting what you want and need and I get to burn a few extra calories too.
Your sleeping has been awesome from the beginning too. The first two weeks you slept a lot. Then little by little you started being more alert by staying up longer during the day. Sometimes you can be up for 2-3 hours at a time interacting with everyone. You have an obsession with lights, oh how you love to stare at them. That calms you really quick. You don't cry much unless you are hungry, need to be changed, or just want some loving. At night you sleep up to 5 hours in a row. Thank you for that! You kind of have a routine with feeding and sleeping. Pretty predictable if I say so myself. We don't have a set bedtime routine yet, I just let you decide what you want and when, for now anyways. You usually nurse around 8-9pm and sleep until 1-2am. Then you wake up around 4 or 5. The times fluctuates here and there but the important part is that you sleep for 4-5 hour stretches at night and when you do wake up to feed you don't do a full feeding. You're more of a night snacker which isn't that bad I guess. You fall right back to sleep after a diaper change either by nursing or on your own.
And since we're on the diaper change topic let me tell you about cloth diapering. I've wanted to to that since before you were conceived. Daddy in the other hand has not been fully on board yet. However, I tried one on you yesterday and he almost melted when he saw your big bottom lol. He's coming around baby he really is :) so back to cloth diapering. After I got our starter stash I organized it all. But since you've been born I've been a little nervous or maybe even intimidated by them. I mean what if I don't like using them because they get to be too much work. I knew I wanted to try it when your umbilical stump fell off and that took longer than expected by falling off at 3 and 1/2 weeks. So that was my excuse at first. Then I kept telling myself that you were still too tiny for them but after out first attempt yesterday you're obviously not that tiny anymore. Now I'm just concern of not folding it right and you leaking all over the place and daddy telling me that he knew that was a bad idea. So basically I'm afraid to fail at it. I know I need to just take the plunge and try it so I'm planning to do it when were home alone at some point this week and if it doesn't work no one will know and if it does then we will be saying Adios to disposables. Wish me luck Adrián. Yesterday you also had your third bath. I don't have pictures of the first two because you couldn't imagine how hard it is to bathe you and take pictures of you at the same time. So I focused on your safety first and waited for daddy to assist so that I can take the pictures. You loved bath time the first two times, the third not so much. We will see how you do with future baths :)
I know it's too early to tell but I think you look like daddy a lot as well as big brother. You are going to have killer eyelashes like both of them with a nicely shaped eye. You have big brothers nose there's no doubt about that. And since according to me big brother has my nose that means you have my nose too. You definitely have daddy's face shape and ears. Oh god there's no mistaken those tiny ears to be just like daddy's. Your cute pointy lips are also big brother's and so is your chin. And your facial expressions are to die for! I'm assuming you are going to share some of Daddy's and big brother's personality too. So far your hair is straight when dry and curly when wet. That always changes though so more on that later. However curly hair is dominant in this family. And your eye, oh your eyes. I know I know all babies have color eyes at first but something about yours tells me that you're not going to inherit my dark brown eyes. Right now they're a brownish grey color but I know that's not going to stay I would however be pleased if you had a light brown color like daddy. Like a honey color. Unfortunately we could be looking at a full year of waiting to determine your eyes colors. Don't worry baby, in my eyes you are perfect just the way you are. And even with some changes you will still be perfect to me. There's nothing that can make a mother think and feel otherwise.
So this is how our first month together has been as a family of four. I'm looking forward on seeing all the changes you will go through in the weeks, months, and years to come. You are a precious gift from above and I will forever be thankful to be given another opportunity at motherhood again. You and your brother are my treasures in this life. Without you my life would be incomplete. My mom once told me in an argument we had "you will never understand how much I love you and care for you until you become a mother yourself" and I have to admit that once again she was right.
Love,
Mommy
A month has passed since your spontaneous delivery and it's hard to accept how much you've changed already. I waited over nine months to meet you and that time seemed to have passed by so slowly and now that you are here time seems to just be flying by.
Your first month check up is not until tomorrow (Feb 5) but it is obvious that you have an extra pound or two on you. You even seem longer to me. At birth you were so tiny that even your newborn clothes didn't fit well and now I'm changing you 2-3 times a day just so you get to wear them all. The puffiness around your eyes have almost faded away completely. Your cheeks are definitely fuller now. Your skinny arms and legs have some extra fat making your wrinkles disappear. Your neck is so strong it's just crazy. That gave us some challenge during your two weeks photo shoot. You have even started to smile and not just as a reflex. For instant, this morning before nursing I held you and stared at your face as I said good morning and you just stared back and gave me not just "a smile" but a few of them. And let me just say that you have the sweetest smile ever! It melts my heart. That right there made my day so thank you! I can't wait to see more of it in the weeks to come.
The first two weeks of your life your big brother was sick. Whether it was a fever, a cough, the flu, or a fever again it made it impossible for him to bond with you which had him very sad and a little bit jealous since you were getting so much attention while he was mostly confined in his room day and night. But now things are much better and since he got over his sickness he has been by your side every day. Whether is kissing you, admiring you, telling you just how "cute" you are and even trying to hold you. One thing that gets to him is your cry though lol. Even though you have the cutest cry he can't bare watch you cry. He gets anxious and repeats over and over again that you're a baby and need to be held all the time and need to eat a lot. He even says that if we don't pick you up he's going to pick you up himself. I pray to God he doesn't try that.
Your feedings have been great. Since day one you've latched on like a pro. Then you got lazy and made me hurt for a while by not latching correctly. Thankfully that didn't last too long. You are only breastfeed and you don't seem to mind it at all. Since I go to school some days during the week I leave you some milk to hold you until I get back and although you don't mind drinking from a bottle you certainly prefer to be fed by mommy at each feeding. Just so you know, that's my favorite method of feeding you too ;). You can take up to 3oz a feeding and sometimes even 4oz. Some days you really go in on it and nurse for 40-60 minutes every two hours. It can be a little too much but hey I don't mind it if you are getting what you want and need and I get to burn a few extra calories too.
Your sleeping has been awesome from the beginning too. The first two weeks you slept a lot. Then little by little you started being more alert by staying up longer during the day. Sometimes you can be up for 2-3 hours at a time interacting with everyone. You have an obsession with lights, oh how you love to stare at them. That calms you really quick. You don't cry much unless you are hungry, need to be changed, or just want some loving. At night you sleep up to 5 hours in a row. Thank you for that! You kind of have a routine with feeding and sleeping. Pretty predictable if I say so myself. We don't have a set bedtime routine yet, I just let you decide what you want and when, for now anyways. You usually nurse around 8-9pm and sleep until 1-2am. Then you wake up around 4 or 5. The times fluctuates here and there but the important part is that you sleep for 4-5 hour stretches at night and when you do wake up to feed you don't do a full feeding. You're more of a night snacker which isn't that bad I guess. You fall right back to sleep after a diaper change either by nursing or on your own.
I know it's too early to tell but I think you look like daddy a lot as well as big brother. You are going to have killer eyelashes like both of them with a nicely shaped eye. You have big brothers nose there's no doubt about that. And since according to me big brother has my nose that means you have my nose too. You definitely have daddy's face shape and ears. Oh god there's no mistaken those tiny ears to be just like daddy's. Your cute pointy lips are also big brother's and so is your chin. And your facial expressions are to die for! I'm assuming you are going to share some of Daddy's and big brother's personality too. So far your hair is straight when dry and curly when wet. That always changes though so more on that later. However curly hair is dominant in this family. And your eye, oh your eyes. I know I know all babies have color eyes at first but something about yours tells me that you're not going to inherit my dark brown eyes. Right now they're a brownish grey color but I know that's not going to stay I would however be pleased if you had a light brown color like daddy. Like a honey color. Unfortunately we could be looking at a full year of waiting to determine your eyes colors. Don't worry baby, in my eyes you are perfect just the way you are. And even with some changes you will still be perfect to me. There's nothing that can make a mother think and feel otherwise.
So this is how our first month together has been as a family of four. I'm looking forward on seeing all the changes you will go through in the weeks, months, and years to come. You are a precious gift from above and I will forever be thankful to be given another opportunity at motherhood again. You and your brother are my treasures in this life. Without you my life would be incomplete. My mom once told me in an argument we had "you will never understand how much I love you and care for you until you become a mother yourself" and I have to admit that once again she was right.
Love,
Mommy
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