Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Reflection on my 20s *Part 2

I’m not even going to lie. I like the idea of turning 30 tomorrow and starting the new volume of this book I call my life on earth. Its bittersweet t say goodbye to an era where in most of it all I did was try to find who I was and my purpose on earth. And although I have yet to figure it all out I have learned so much about myself.

My twenties were full of some great moments and some not so great, but let’s call those life lessons. By reflecting back to those moments I can truly say I learned a lot. I definitely had several lessons I had to repeat to grasp the concept but for the most part I think I got it now. Aside from those life lessons everything else was perfect.

*I married my best friend. I may not have known so back then but the older we get the more we realize we really are each other’s best friend. We have grown and mature so much together and most importantly we have leaned to love each other unconditionally. Marriage is hard, very hard. It requires patience, love, forgiveness, and maturity. Yet for every bad day there were at least ten good ones, which I wouldn’t trade for the world.

*I became mother to two amazing sons. Half of the time I still don’t get this motherhood gig right but seeing those sweet angels of mine grow and evolve into their unique loving and caring personalities makes me forget about every gray hair I have gained since their birth. They seriously are my pride and Joy.

*I have grown so much closer to my mother. She is right up there with my husband holding a best friend title. She’s my backbone, she seriously is. Life would be so much harder without her and I am thankful for every day I get to have her on earth with me.

*My siblings on the other hands are a different story. I feel that over these last several years we have grown apart more than I have ever dreamed of. However, things are turning around and I hope that as they grow older and mature more themselves they’ll too start to realize what’s really important in life and who truly means them well. Whatever the future holds for us they will be forever my little brother and sisters.

*I’ve had the opportunity to travel so much these last ten years. From Dominican Republic to Puerto Rico several times, Costa Rica, Mexico, and several other states in the country. I look forward to the many other travel adventures that are waiting to happen.

*I decided on a promising career. It has been a long and everything but easy of a journey but I’m getting there and that’s all the matters. I like to say that I live a life of no regrets because those experiences have helped in shaping who I am. However, if there’s anything I would do different is in this section of life.

*Friendships. Well let’s just say that the older I got the less friends I ended up having. These days I seem to have a lot of acquaintances and about a handful of friends. And I’m okay with that.

*I have spent this entire decade working in the medical field. Learning, seeing, understanding, helping, you name it. I’ve come across so many people and I have learned so much about so many things. These years were years that developed my work ethic and really taught me about the meaning of life.

*Heath & Fitness were not a major part of this decade but will for sure be a part of the next. I like to call the last ten years stepping-stones ;)

*Last but not least, my faith and religion. The biggest most gratifying decision I made this decade was to follow Jesus, to trust him and believe on his promises. Don’t misunderstand me I’m not perfect. I fail a lot. Yet being able to see the progress I have made over the years motivates to continue on this path. I am so happy about my growth in this area of my life. I am no where near perfect nor do I expect it to be by the end of my time on this earth but one thing I know for sure is that with each passing day I become more aware of the importance of prayer and faith in God.

I have to admit that I have yet figured out all there is to know about life but I can finally say that I have figured out part of who I am and what I want out of life. So no, I will not be saying goodbyes to my 20s, I rather say Thank You.

Thank You for the lessons learned.

Tuesday, March 14, 2017

Reflection on my 20s *Part 1

Life in general

Life is a beautiful gift and you have the ability to make it as worth it and as meaningful as you wish. There is truth in saying that with age your priorities as well as you maturity level changes. Even just last year when I got the idea of writing this post I wondered, “well… what would I say? I still don’t feel stable enough to write anything "good" about my 20s. Little did I know that I was living a negative lifestyle even though I would always make it seem otherwise. It also didn’t ponder that it would take pretty much the full year to come to my senses and change my ways. It was one of those things where I wasn’t practicing what I was preaching.

Today however I have concluded that my 20s were amazing! I lived a healthy decade both physically and mentally, meet amazing people (whether or not some were just phase friends), married a wonderful man, had two amazing smart, funny, and handsome sons, moved into a spacious house, and worked wonderful jobs that taught me a lot and prepared me for this next chapter of life. The list is endless!

Let’s review some facts.

Every single person on this earth grows up with different upbringings, experiences, circumstances, luxuries, etc.

In my case, I was born in a third world country and was raised by a single mother.

I didn’t really have a father figure for long. The first 6 years of my life my father was in prison for 5 of those years. Two years later my mother, siblings, and I move to the United States without him. And two years after being here my father died.

I grew up in the projects with a mom whose main concern was to make enough money to feed us and clothe us. Which means she wasn’t really an involved parent with our education. Not to mention she never truly learned the language.

Due to her absence I was promoted to mother figure for my younger siblings. I was cooking meals by age 11 and was responsible for dropping off my siblings at daycare and school before getting myself to junior high.

I left my mother’s house at age 15 with a “boyfriend”. Got a job and started supporting myself.  Of course that didn’t last long. By age 17 I was back home. Shortly after, I found myself in an abusive relationship that almost destroyed me.

A year after that I met my now husband and got pregnant at 18. It wasn’t easy. I always knew I wanted to go to college and have a career yet I had no ambition or true motivation on getting started nor did I know exactly what I wanted out of life. I was simply going through the days as they came. Until my husband talked some sense into me, of course, and motivated me to reach for the stars. 

He on the other hand had a completely different life story than mine.

All through my 20s I wondered what it would have been like if I would have had a different childhood. I was envious of all the people I came across by that had a dad, who knew what they wanted from an early age, who were smart, ambitious, and go getters with an extrovert personality. Pretty much for the majority of my 20s I compared myself to others while neglecting all the blessings and good I had right in front of me.

Today, although it took long enough, I have realized that the grass in not always greener on the other side. From that other side my grass looks greener to someone else.

We are all different. We all grow up with different experiences. We all want to be happy. What we don’t realize is that we block so much happiness from entering our lives by focusing on other people’s lives and their blessings instead of enjoying ours.

If we want our grass to look greener than our neighbors' then we must water our own lawn instead of wasting time wondering how and why theirs look better.

I know still have so much growing to do and and so many things I want to achieve but right now I know that I am exactly where I need to be. My perspective on life has change so much. My priorities have shifted. I am so much more positive. Life feels good. It feels right. I can finally say that I have done some effective soul searching and that I am happy with my life. 

Today I am thankful and feel blessed to be where I am and who I am.

to be continue...