Tuesday, March 31, 2015

First he's sour then he's sweet...

He's AJ, my sour patch kid!

UntitledIt amazes me to see the type of personality you're developing. You are such a happy toddler, most times. Unless is after a nap then you really are a crabby toddler. Other then that you are sweet as a peach if you're in a good mood which you mostly are. 

I've notice though that you are going to be the little troublemaker of the family. There are times that you are playing all alone with your toys and suddenly you stop and walk up to one of us, meaning daddy, brother, or myself, and you pinch us or hit us for no reason at all. Simply because you felt like it. Then you look at us with this mean look like "yea I just did that, what are you going to do about it" and then right out of nowhere you walk back up and kiss us. Umm ok?! 

It makes me laugh because I wonder what's really going on in that little brain of yours. What are you thinking? What makes you pick on us then kiss us or rub your hands on the same spot you pinched and say "I Sowy" with that adorable voice of yours. I remember the days when you were in my belly and I would wonder what your voice would sound like. Well honey not in a million years would I have guessed and you know what, it is the best sound in the world. Music to my heard you could even say. I can't never get enough of it. Unless you're telling me NO which has been happening more often then not, especially when you don't want to do what you are told.  

You are so different compare to how your brother was at this age. Many times I wish I would have started blogging when your brother was small like you so that I could compare your similarities and differences over your ages. Still, I'm able to tell that you're more outgoing then he is. Well outspoken might fit better if you were talking more. Is amazing how different you two can be yet also so similar. I have the best of both worlds enjoying these phases of your life. I feel truly blessed to have you and Steven as my sons. 

I love you my sour patch kid! 


xoxo,
Mommy

Sunday, March 29, 2015

When in a funk go to church

For the past couple of weeks I've felt so drained. There is so much going on. In just a couple of months the nursing program that I applied for sends out their acceptance letters and there I will be told if I'm officially in the nursing program. Sometime in April I also have to take a test required by the university which confirms my efficiency in the English language. Kind of stupid if you asked me since I've been in the States in 1996 and I've been taking classes at the college level for so long now but since I was not "born" in the States it doesn't matter. It gets even more frustrating because I have to pay almost $200 for the freaging test. SMH. On top of that my current class which is Democracy in America is my last class before nursing clinical and nursing classes and for the life of me I cannot get into this class. As interesting as it is it is also the most boring class I have ever had.  At work I'm in week ten of my training which means I have two more weeks until I'm left out on my own to care for 8-12 (rarely 12) patients. Exciting yet nerve-wrecking.

Their is so much stress lingering in the home which is affecting all of us. The kids are just being boys –to put it in a nice way which is just making parenting a little bit more challenging than normal. For the cherry on top I can't stop eating. I eat anything that crosses my way and that makes me sad because I was doing so good to with my portions and my healthy clean eating. For the record I've discovered that I am indeed a stress eater.

I can't complaining about my cleaning however. I have went through almost every single closet in the house from the third floor all the way down to the bottom floor. I've went through almost every drawer in the house and took out so many clothes that I don't wear as well as the kids clothes and plan on donating them.  The only place I have left is the basement and that's a place I'm kind of terrified to go in to. Oh and the playroom let's not forget the playroom. I started this lovely project back in January. I have all my letters for my alphabet wall, my black chalkboard wall paint for another wall, I have cleaned out the toy box and took out toys with missing pieces or toys that are no longer being used. As I went through them I realized how old are some of the toys we have. Some are as old as Steven since we've had them since he was a baby and now they are AJ's favorite toys (Example, the Handy Manny tool set. AJ loves this set and swear he an fix just about anything in the house). I have pretty much everything needed to set up the playroom and I just can't go in that room. Every time I step foot in that room I become overwhelmed. I don't know where to start.

With so much going on I figured I need some Jesus in my life. Last Wednesday, being in a funk and all, I left to go to the Bible Study class our church has every week hoping that the class will help me get a little bit out of this funk I am in and make me see the beauty of life. Today I was able to make it to their service and boy am I glad I went. The stress factors did not go away but now I feel refreshed. I'm ready to tackle the coming week in all it's glory.

Note to self: When in a funk, go to church :)

Happy Sunday!

xoxo
Pamela

Saturday, March 7, 2015

First Clinical Day Ever: Pre Nursing

Back in mid January I started training for my new position. The first four weeks consisted of lots of "classes". From infection control to postmortem care. It involved so much information that I felt overwhelmed. When week five came around it was time for the first part of the final exam. Feb 17th was the lucky day. I took the final and I passed with a 96%. The next day was my first day of clinical in the unit across from where my home unit would be. It was a medical surgical unit that allowed us to see a little bit of everything, nothing too specific except that it was also a renal floor therefore a large portion of patients where in need of dialysis. 

The only other time I've ever worked in the clinical aspect of the health field was when I was working for a private office and I was pretty much just doing simple things like blood pressure, temperature, pulse ox, height and weight, EKGs, etcetera. This time around I'll be doing a little bit more. It still includes EKGs and your regular vitals but to the list we are also adding blood draws, specimen collection, bladder scans, blood glucose and so on but that won't be until to the end of training which lasts 12 weeks total. 

This clinical experience was supervised by the class instructors and we were assigned to shadow another technical partner while also helping with taking routine vitals as well as bathing, repositioning, and a little bit of everything we had learned in the previous weeks.  So where am I getting to with all this? Well I want to jot down my first experience ever giving care in an inpatient unit. Being on the road to a nursing degree this is the best possible route I could be on for various reasons and what an eye opener it was. The only regret I have was not applying for this training earlier. 

 I actually missed my first day of clinical, which should have been Wednesday the 18th, due to a car accident I was involved in the night before (more on that later). On Thursday when I arrived 10 minutes before 7am I was a nervous wreck. For starters the group was already a day ahead of me. Second, I'm an introvert by nature so having to interact with strangers in a very personal level had me as anxious as you could ever imagine.  I did not know what to do with myself but thankfully I made it through the day, even better I made it through the week. 

The first day was somewhat overwhelming. Too much information to remember and apply from before as well as learning new techniques. I like to be as organized as possible and I felt like I was thrown to the wolves. I simply did not know what to do first, there was so much going on. Mainly I was terrified of hurting the already fragile patients in my sections. Looking back at three weeks ago I feel so much comfortable. Of course that there's a lot more room for improvements and learning, still I was overreacting to my anxiousness from back then. Which is perfectly normal and human nature. I'm not alone here right? The day came to an end and I was told I did very well for my first day. 

Day two and three were almost deal breakers for me. I had patients that were "respectably" rude. A couple by confusion while another by choice. This specific person made me feel horrible. I'm not sure just how to explain it but I felt like I was degrating myself to meet her needs. She was, simply put, horrible. I seriously doubted myself and my future career goals. Is funny how sometimes a single person/scenario can give you doubts on something you feel so passionate about. I truly hope to never have to feel like that again and if something does happen along those lines, that I am able to not let it get under my skin. After all, it will happen from time to time whether I like it or not. I need to learn how to protect my emotions with a thicker skin. 

Day four came around and my group had to provide postmortem care first thing in the morning. I won't go into details (not that I'm allow to anyways) but you could just imagine how I was feeling. I've never been so closed to a deceased person in my life. Not even my own father. 

By day five I felt much comfortable in my role and was able to provide adequate care to the type of patients in my session. We had everything from droplet/contact precaution, to patients that needed to be fed, while others were pretty capable of doing personal care all on their own. I think by this day I felt more comfortable because I already knew my patients and they knew me. I was able to identify what type of care they needed and what they least liked. Their conditions, etc. I've noticed it has been like that since too. The first day I'm very reserve and try to offer proper care while getting to know them better while the end of day three I'm a lot more comfortable and have created a better relationship with them and their families. 

It was a great learning experience. My group, the instructors, and the preceptors did an amazing job at teaching and making us feel comfortable in our role. They answered every question possible and had a lot of patience with us newbies. 

Since then I've had patients who'd had strokes, were paraplegic, and one that was even famous! Can you believe that! I took care of someone famous :) I love my job, it is so rewarding to be able to give a little of me to help someone who truly needs it. With my experience so far, I know for sure that nursing is meant to be part of my life. Maybe not necessarily in this type of floor but definitely giving some type of care/education to the community. 

So Cheers! to the beginning of a great adventure. One that will forever be a part of my life. 

xoxo
Pamela

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Grace

Defined per Google as:

  1. (in Christian belief) the free and unmerited favor of God, as manifested in the salvation of sinners and the bestowal of blessings. 

    And that is my word of the year. Took me long enough to decide I suppose. But in my defense I wanted my choice of word to truly have an impact in my life. 

    The last several years my life have been full of chaos and it was God's Grace that pulled me through. Without it I don't think I would have ever made it to where I stand today. So why join in the hype? Because sometimes in life we need to believe or practice certain things in order to get through the difficult times. Having already experienced God's Grace in the difficult times, I look forward to seeing it in the good times.  

    Did you chose a word for the year? If so, I'd love to hear what you decided on and why. 







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    image via google

    xoxo
    Pamela


    x

Sunday, March 1, 2015

Hello March: Things that make me happy



A dear friend tagged me over on Instagram to share with her and everyone else the things that makes me happy. As I thought about it I only came up with a handful of things but when I wrote them down the list seemed to be endless. 

This current list is of things that have made me happy lately. Hopefully I will remember to write a few of these posts over the course of the year. 

1. Weekend morning talks with my other half while the boys are asleep.
2. Being a mom. Nothing can compare.  
3. Brotherly love. Nothing makes me happier than seeing my two boys playing and laughing together. 
4. Being able to offer care to those truly in need. 
5. Curly hair. 
6. Coffee in the morning.  
7. Knee length boots. They keep me warm. 
8. Leggings under my scrubs. Best feeling ever as I walk what seems like a mile to the entrance on windy mornings. 
9. Making new friends. Better yet, smart friends that without knowing push me to thrive higher. 
10. AJs love for "coffee" (hot chocolate) and his sweet voice as he speaks more and more with each passing day. 
11. Steven letting go of his shyness to protect his little brother from other kids. 
12. Stepping out of my comfort zone and not caring what others might think. #ismylifeafterall
13.  Selfies! 
14. Napping boys. #quietness! 
15.  Documenting my life via words and pictures. I should really do it more often. 
16. My birthday month! T-15

What things make you happy? 

xoxo
Pamela