Reality Check

Hours away from being six weeks postpartum it hits me. I'm an adult. A wife. A Mother! I can't no longer come and go as I please. Yes, I've been a mother way longer than six weeks but it was only to one child. A child that was the first grandson on both sides of the family. A child who loves being at his grandmother's house and a child who we could always find a babysitter for. As parents we were still able to go out dancing or visit friends as far as a couple of hours away. As for further trips it was so much easier too because he is older and no longer an infant or toddler. Somehow we've always managed to take him everywhere we went with the exception of our trip to Costa Rica in 2010. And even then as a four year old we called him every day from the resort and we missed him dearly. So what is this big reality check I'm talking about?

It all started several weeks ago when I started planning our trips for the year. We, or I should really say I, wanted to take at least two trips this year. A family trip to California to visit the sister-in-law and take our son to Legoland and Disneyland and a cruise for our anniversary since we weren't able to take one last year. The family trip was put on hold for later in the year due to my sister-in-law and her husband moving from their current location to San Diego in a couple of months. Ok not too bad we just have to push it a bit further. However, yesterday I called the husband to inform him of my plans to make reservations for our cruise and to purchase our flight tickets before they go up again (the cruise departs from San Juan, PR). His response: "Pam don't you think is a little too soon and selfish of you to book a 9 days trip with a newborn in the house". Mind you that his lecture was more than just one sentence and it lasted about an hour.

I didn't see anything wrong with wanting to go away for 9 days for some us time. I mean I love our kids and trust our parents and is not like they'll be staying with strangers or friends for that matter. But after it was all done and I processed what he meant I started to feel selfish and I was pretty upset. How dare I want to be away from my sweet baby boy not even a year after his birth. What kind of mother am I? He made it clear that he wasn't canceling the trip he just wanted to include the kids too so I started my research on where we should go. And that my friends is when it hit me. We can no longer come and go as we've done the previous years and do you have any idea how hard it is to plan a family trip with a child that is not even a year old. Yes he'll fly for free and stay for free at resorts but how could we really enjoy ourselves when he can't even walk? How will our older son enjoy himself when we have to think of the baby whenever we want to do something. From going on a cruise to going to Atlantis it just seems impossible! (I'm open to any suggestion you'd like to offer now).

I think back to when I debated to have another child because I was concern about school but I failed to take into consideration how drastically was starting over would change our lives. Not just as a family but more importantly as a couple. No more couple trips not for a few years at least. Now I understand why normal people don't wait 6+ years between childbirths. Ok, so maybe I am being a bit selfish but come on I'm just trying to keep the fire alive. I don't want us to let our marriage fall apart because we are focusing only on the kids and the family.

So what's the verdict on the trips for the year? Unknown.

I'm sure we will come up with a place to go to and it will be a great family vacation. So be on the lookout for a follow up post to this.



Good Night.