Last night I sat on my couch watching the property brothers while the hubby ran out with Steven trying to find a last minute suit for a show that he had at school today. As I sat there next to a sleepy toddler who refused to give in to sleep I decided to browse Instagram. While browsing I came across a picture from a person whom five years ago I wanted nothing to do with (childish me) yet today, literally, we have actual text conversations. Is funny how much difference five years can make.
Anywho. This person had asked for opinions on resorts on the DR. I of course commented and said Dreams, our wedding resort. I'm still obsessed with that resort. Minutes later I get a private message from this person asking a little more about the resort/wedding. That message lead to the exchange of numbers and a two hour text message conversation. That message lead me to go back and re watch my wedding highlight video and search for my old blog "Wedding In Paradise". I read post upon post on my life from five years ago and as I read I began to think how blessed I was then.
You see, lately I've been somewhat disappointed in a certain situation that's going on in my life right now which I will most likely talk about in a few weeks. And although today I feel blessed for things in my life such as health and a family, a healthy family at that, I can't help but to find myself feeling down due to this particular situation. I question the universe on my misfortune on this situation and couldn't help but to cry myself to sleep the past two nights now. So as I read back on those post I remembered the feelings I felt back then. Feelings of misfortune and not having enough to be quite honest. Having enough you may ask? Well I was not born into a family of money. I five years ago I was 23 years old and had just embarked on a career journey that today it has yet to find its happy ending. Therefore I didn't have enough. Meaning enough money to have the wedding of my Dreams.
My now husband and I paid for our entire wedding ourselves with no help from our parents and no loans to be repaid after the big day. That alone is a blessing on its on. Having a gorgeous wedging in the Caribbean that was truly a dream. Back then I wanted so much for my big day that I completely missed what I was being blessed with. A single search online lead me to find a person who lives exactly 97 miles from me today. That person gave fruit to major parts of our wedding. The photographer. The videographer. Paper projects. Makeup. Hair accessory. As well as many other things but most importantly through her a new friendship was built and five years later I am proud to celebrate with her and her husband the first birthday of their first child.
This post is mostly my ramblings about the past. But what a sweet and blessed past it was. From not wanting to have nothing to do with a specific person to sit here today and share my knowledge of a destination wedding with that person. From not having enough to being able to afford an amazing wedding. And from creating a hopefully lifelong friendship from a single online search when planning our wedding. In a few weeks we will celebrate four years of marriage and although the first couple of years were rough today our happiness overpowers it all. I will do it again in a heartbeat. Troubles and all. Ok maybe not the troubles haha.
Most importantly looking back at my personal thought life was a realization that sometimes we tend to be blind and not realize the blessings happening right in front of our eyes. I truly hope t five years from now I find this post and the post coming in a few weeks and think to myself how silly it was for me to worry when there were so many blessings happening around me. Is hard to say what the future holds for me or my loved ones but I know that God's will not take me where his grace will not protect me. That should be enough for me. In fact, that is enough for me to know.
xoxo,
Pamela
For year now I've been wanting to go hiking. I remember almost three years ago sitting in my seat over at MBU researching "how/where to hike" in my area. I brought it up to the hubby and he wasn't too enthusiastic about the idea. I put it on the to do list and kind of forgot about it until recently. It was one of those things where you simply wake up one day and say "today I'm going for a hike". Except that I didn't go for the hike at that precise moment but I would have if someone was available to go with me. I asked a couple of my cousins to go with me and only one agreed to do it the following week. We set the date and picked the place, then it was only a matter of waiting.
That following Thursday we were all ready to go as planned. We've never been hiking and we didn't know what to expect. You can read all you want but unless you've experienced it yourself you just won't know and that's a fact.
As my cousin and I joke about our survivor kit (which included Doritos, juicy juice, nutella, marshmallow fluff, granola bar, go-gurts, and water) I laughed out loud and Steven ask what was so funny. I told him about our survivor kit and he laughed, then he joke about not being invited. I figured since he showed no interest in the past he wouldn't care for hiking this time either plus it was on a Thursday and he wasn't going to be able to go due to work but work was slow that Wednesday and the same was expected for Thursday so he joined the wagon.
We drove over thirty minuted to this place, I had no idea it was going to take this long but the drive was totally worth it.
As we started our walk into the woods that beautiful morning in April I started to get worried. Any little noise had me freaking out. "What if that's a bear? you know there are bears in this area right?" said my cousin. Then to top it off the trail divided in three paths and we weren't sure which one to take. Not to mention that the markers were like nonexistent. Okay, there were markings but I was expecting them to be orange like the one I read about when researching this area not purple pray paint markings on a tree. Then the "warning signs" made my belly hurt. I was really getting scared. I even contemplated telling them to let's turn around. #truestory
Then the rocky parts began along with very thin pathways with nothing on the side but deep open space. I'm afraid of heights so this definitely was the last straw for me. I was not going to make it anywhere if the entire hike was going to be like that. Then suddenly this happened!
Waterfalls!
Beautiful scenery with lots of running water. It was amazing! So peaceful and quiet with only nature's sounds and a gentle breeze.
As we continued to hike our way up the more beautiful it got and the less worried I got. I was witnessing God's creation :) There was nothing man-made in this place but markings on rocks and trees. Everything else was all God. Now I see why people hike, you can't make this up.
We saw a couple a few feet up but they stopped right there and after we passed them they turned around (maybe they were on their way back down?) When we reached this beautiful spot. I was sure this was the end. We stopped here and took pictures upon pictures. After checking the time I realized it only took us about thirty minutes. The drive here was longer. We joked and laughed and talked and agreed that this was "our thing". My cousin and I don't run, or exercise, or play sports, or are girly girls. We don't have "a thing" to call ours. So this hiking trip was to see if we liked it enough to make it our thing. And what do you know, I think we are.
A few minutes later Steven started to check out the area and then he was gone. I freaked and called for him. I heard his voice coming from up high and when I looked up there he was. Up higher in the trail.
I guess there's more to see. He said to come up, that he found another waterfall. So up we went and more beauty. This was our stop. We stood here about another 20 minutes as my cousin and I took selfies and Steven carved our initials in a tree.
As we started to walk down two girls were coming up. Steven asked them if there was another trail to go down and the one girl said there was but it wasn't marked. So unless we knew the area she didn't recommend it. We were bummed because the way up was rocky so going down was going to be hard. It wasn't as bad though. We made it down fairly quick and no one got hurt. We're definitely going to try this trail again and we're aiming for the full trail (whatever that means).
First hiking experience = Total SUCCESS!
xoxo
Pamela
Work
I'm on week four of being on my own in my current position as a TP (did I ever mentioned that my current position is a technical partner aka nurse assistant? Yea, that's what I do. That means I do the nurses' dirty job hahaha) and to be quite honest I love it. I have learned so much from this job and now I am more convinced than ever that nursing is for me. I love caring for the sick. The only thing that worries me is not being able to be as involved with my patient's care. That's one thing I've noticed a lot. Nurses today do a lot of passing meds and charting. I mean, yes it is still considered patient care and they still get to do wound care and dressing changes, among many more things I've failed to included on this post, yet I feel that being in a medical/surgical floor is not for me. I'll do it for the experience for a couple of years but I want to do more, I want to care for patients in a more personal level. I'm confident that when I go through my nursing rotations I'll find my "true calling" as many have said in the past but for now I'm going to enjoy what I do. One of my favorite things to do besides hearing about the patients younger days is drawing blood. Is funny to me how now I find myself analyzing people's arm and thinking which vein Iwould like to poke lol. Weird I know but true.School
oh school, my love and hate relationship. Actually, I just finished my spring semester at DSU and next on the list is nursing clinical, if I get accepted into the program. This last class was not hard, however the reading assignments from the books were Boring! but I did pass the class with the grade I expected. Program starts in August and students should be let know by June if they got accepted. Whether that's truly what will happen I can't say but as long as I get in I don't mind waiting till the week before. There are so many emotions going through my head when I think of this, is nerve-wracking. It seriously makes me sick to my stomach.
Home
So many projects going on right now. Two weekends ago we painted the living/dining room area. When we first moved in we (and by we I mean I) picked a very dark color. It looked nice and warm in the store but I failed to overlook the fact that we didn't have many windows in that area of the house which didn't bring in much natural light. With that said, we also added dark with a red tint floating floors and the house just looks orange from side to side. In the fall it looks great with the weather outside but year round... well it's way too dark. After three years of dealing with it I finally convinced the hubby that this color had to go. He agreed and I jumped on it. I had my doubts when picking the color mostly from feeling overwhelmed with all the options. How do they get so many similar yet different shades of one color? I was terrify of what it was going to look like. I had a vision in my head but I couldn't figure out how to make that vision a reality. We were definitely going light, however the actual color or and shade was the issue. If it ain't obvious, I am not decorating guru. I can bearly dress myself fashionably. Husband would agree. After much going back and forth we decided on doing a two-tone design with white chair rails. For the bottom we went with Soothing Celadon from Behr but once we opened the can it was wait too light to match it to the top which is Oriental Silk also from Behr. I called our Home depot store and without an issue I was told to bring it back in and they would make it darker or replace it. Once in the store I showed them the color Aqua Smoke and told them I wanted it just a tad bit lighter than that. The guy helping me calculated something in the computer to add to the original formula and mixed the can of paint I brought in and voila, my color was created. I was still a little worried but you could definitely tell that the new formula was a lot darker than the original. Once on the wall next to the top color it looked great. Now with the rail added on I feel like I'm in a brand new home.The mood now is so different and even with the lack of windows the house feels a lot lighter. I have no regrets, for now. I do feel though that the chair rail is a little high but it doesn't bother me too much. Honestly if it wasn't for my step-father in-law saying something about it I would have probably not given it any thought.
Mootherhood
I fall in love with this role more and more each day. My boys have been such a blessing. Their relationship, their similarity, their diferences, it's all so much fun. Just this past thursday I came accross a picture of AJ when he was about 10 months old. My baby has the same face and so much baby fat. His little four teeth, the smile, the crunching eyes, is baby heaven. After that I decided to look for pictures of Steven at AJ's age now and OMG how fast time passes. I remember him being tiny and so much fun at AJ's age. I had to compare a picture of him at 2 years old and now at almost nine. My big boy has grown so much. Of course that I couldn't stop there. I continued with the side by side comparison of them and my oh my what a treat. It gave me baby fever so bad! These two are my life. Is funny how pre-kids you can't picture life as mom and post-kids you can't picture life childless. Don't get me wrong there are challenging moments, fights between them, the tantrums and misbehavior, and the diciplining but I wouldn't change being a mother for nothing. I look forward to the years ahead and the future children to came ;)
Steven
My first love, my biggest challenger.
The sweetest kid I know and also the most stubborn, he definitely takes after his father (I feel De Javu happening here). It amazes me to realize that I have a child who's nearing the teen years. Lord have mercy on me. From liking to sleep in late to the messy room he's definitely in the pre teens right? It freaks me out to even think about it.
It's baseball season! We started our fourth year of baseball with Steven and so far we've had 5 games and we've won each one. On our last game on thursday Steven left everyone with their jaws on the floor. I've mentioned before that my child is all size. He plays the sport because we encourage him and sign him up for it to keep him active. He has his days but most days he's just not that into it. He has the body, strength, and booty for baseball but from what we notice it's simply not his thing. However that day that kid hit that baseball every time he stood up to bat. The first time he hit it so far out he brought three kids home. We joked that he likes the fast balls and it was such a rush for everyone, especially because we were not expecting it. When we heard the sound of that bat hit that ball and throw it all the way in the outfield I felt like the proudest Mama there. Today he asked if he could pitch the ball and his dad practice pitching with him for about an hour. Let me just say that my child is a fast learner. He has never pitched a ball and today on his first try he strikes out the first three kids who got up to bat. That was one quick inning. Of course that we didn't catch it on camara or video but I'll be ready next time. I won't be able to make it to every game but I'm looking forward to this season. Hopefully after the rush, the praising, and the good feeling he gets he starts to get into the game a bit more and starts to get more serious about it. My kid has talent! :)
He's also in the orchestra at school and plays the viola. He likes it a lot and has gotten pretty good in just 4 short months. He had his first concert in March which I meant to blog about but didn't get the chance to and last Saturday he had another one. This concert was a big deal. Kids from all over the eastern region come to town. On Friday he left school early to go to Symphony Hall which is where everyone was meeting at. They served dinner for the kids and had practiced till 10pm. Then the next day they had to report back to Symphony Hall by 830am. They fed them again and they had more practice all day before the concert at 330pm. I was so bumed that I had to miss it but the husband was able to record some parts for me to watch at home. The concert inter lapped with the game but hubby was able to pull it off and get him to both. He loves playing the viola and reading the notes so much that I really want to encorage him to continue with it as long as possible. He doesn't see it how I do but just watching how into it he is when he's home makes my heart sing. My son reads and plays music, like actual music notes! Just last semester I took a music requirement class for my nursing degree (because you know, I'll have to play/sing for my future patients lol) and got nothing out of it. I blame the age but that is such an amazing skill to have and I'm glad My son has gotten the opportunity to learn this skill. Ok so proud momma rambling here, I'll stop now. I'll let you know how it goes :)
AJ
This child of my mine has grown so much physically and mentally. He's talking so much better. He can have actual conversations with turn taking, he can partially undress himself (wer're still working on shirts), and I think he's ready to start the potty training process too. His manners are well stablished. He sleeps through the night as is expected at his age and gives me no issues when putting him to bed. He's still obsess with Mickey Mouse although recently he's been into Goofy and Pluto a lot more. Daycare is going well for him and us. He attended his first birthday party from one of the kids at daycare and had a great time. The party was a zoo party. He loves being outside, hello summer weather. I forsee many park outings. He can recognize and imitate at least twenty animals and their sounds. We're still working on letters, numbers, shapes, and colors, but he knows a large variety of these. He loves to sing and pretend play. He still loves his balls and lately has been into playing video games with his brother. I doubt he actually plays but his imagination goes wild. Riding his tricycle is also up high on his list of favorites.
Miscellanous
The no heat challenge was a big fail. I made it about 5 weeks and then I gave up. I don't like my hair being so short. I decided to just go with the flow and let my hair grow at its own pace.
Today we attended Steven's brother gender reveal party. Her family wanted a boy and his mom wanted a girl. I honestly thought it was a girl too but was really hoping for a boy and what do you know, a boy it is. That is the 4th grandchild and the 4th boy. Steven's mom was not happy but is better this way. She deserves a granddaughter but it should come from her own daughter or me ;). This is getting interesting, who will have the first girl in the P family?
The biggest fight of the century was last Saturday night. Mayweather vs Pachiao. I've mention here before about my love and hate relationship with boxing and honestly was going to be very dissapointed if the fight did not meet all the hype about it. I mean this is The Fight everyone's been waiting for, they both better put on a big show. I was able to convince the husband to order the fight at home so that I can watch it too since that was my weekend to work but by round 10 I was passed out on the couch. As expected Mayweather won. I was going for Pachiao but my money was on Mayweather. He did what he does in every fight run around the ring and land a few punches. Many would say he's a smart fighter because he doesn't allow the opposite fighter to land punches on him and isn't that what boxing is all about anyways? Still his fights are not exciting, always the same show and never a good one. That's just my personal opinion.
That's all for now. I have a few post to post this month lets hope I take out the time to post them.
xoxo
Pamela
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