Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Throwback blessings

Last night I sat on my couch watching the property brothers while the hubby ran out with Steven trying to find a last minute suit for a show that he had at school today. As I sat there next to a sleepy toddler who refused to give in to sleep I decided to browse Instagram. While browsing I came across a picture  from a person whom five years ago I wanted nothing to do with (childish me) yet today, literally, we have actual text conversations. Is funny how much difference five years can make. 

Anywho. This person had asked for opinions on resorts on the DR. I of course commented and said Dreams, our wedding resort. I'm still obsessed with that resort. Minutes later I get a private message from this person asking a little more about the resort/wedding. That message lead to the exchange of numbers and a two hour text message conversation. That message lead me to go back and re watch my wedding highlight video and search for my old blog "Wedding In Paradise". I read post upon post on my life from five years ago and as I read I began to think how blessed I was then. 

You see,  lately I've been somewhat disappointed in a certain situation that's  going on in my life right now which I will most likely talk about in a few weeks. And although today I feel blessed for things in my life such as health and a family, a healthy family at that, I can't help but to find myself feeling down due to this particular situation. I question the universe on my misfortune on this situation and couldn't help but to cry myself to sleep the past two nights now. So as I read back on those post I remembered the feelings I felt back then. Feelings of misfortune and not having enough to be quite honest. Having enough you may ask? Well I was not born into a family of money. I five years ago I was 23 years old and had just embarked on a career journey that today it has yet to find its happy ending. Therefore I didn't have enough. Meaning enough money to have the wedding of my Dreams. 

My now husband and I paid for our entire wedding ourselves with no help from our parents and no loans to be repaid after the big day. That alone is a blessing on its on. Having a gorgeous wedging in the Caribbean that was truly a dream. Back then I wanted so much for my big day that I completely missed what I was being blessed with. A single search online lead me to find a person who lives exactly 97 miles from me today. That person gave fruit to major parts of our wedding. The photographer. The videographer. Paper projects. Makeup. Hair accessory. As well as many other things but most importantly through her a new friendship was built and five years later I am proud to celebrate with her and her husband the first birthday of their first child. 

This post is mostly my ramblings about the past. But what a sweet and blessed past it was. From not wanting to have nothing to do with a specific person to sit here today and share my knowledge of a destination wedding with that person.  From not having enough to being able to afford an amazing wedding. And from creating a hopefully lifelong friendship from a single online search when planning our wedding.  In a few weeks we will celebrate four years of marriage and although the first couple of years were rough today our happiness overpowers it all. I will do it again in a heartbeat. Troubles and all. Ok maybe not the troubles haha. 

Most importantly looking back at my personal thought life was a realization that sometimes we tend to be blind and not realize the blessings happening right in front of our eyes. I truly hope t five years from now I find this post and the post coming in a few weeks and think to myself how silly it was for me to worry when there were so many blessings happening around me. Is hard to say what the future holds for me or my loved ones but I know that God's will not take me where his grace will not protect me. That should be enough for me. In fact, that is enough for me to know. 


xoxo,
Pamela

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