Friday, January 23, 2015

What If...

Isn't it funny the way we think about certain situations. Let me tell you what happened to me a couple of weeks ago.

It was a Tuesday afternoon and I was getting out of work (my previous job), usually on Tuesdays they have evening hours until 7 PM. That particular Tuesday just so happened that it had been snowing since the night before. It wasn't a crazy storm but steady enough to require the car to be cleaned. By the time I got out of work it was really dark and my car was full of snow with ice on the window. A coworker and I were the last ones to leave. We get outside and we walked to the parking lot towards our cars. There were three cars in the parking lot, hers and mine and a police car which we found strange because there's never a police car in the parking lot. Never.  Not even at this time of day. 

As we walked to the cars I asked her if that was what I think it was? she replies with "I don't know, what is it? I tell her is a police car. We agreed it was and kind of brushed it off like it was no big deal so she walked to her car and I walked to mine which was parked a parking space away from the cop car. As I approached my car the cop's car window goes down and he says "I have a feeling that your car is pretty cold" and I say "I have a feeling that you are right" and I continued toward my car, open the door, turn my car on, and pulled out my little scraper brush thingy to clean my car. As I'm cleaning my car the cop gets out of his car and opens up his trunk. It looks like he was looking for something and then he comes over next to me and says "here, let me help you". I thanked him for helping me and I continued to clean my car. It was pretty quiet and then he tells me "I didn't even know we had this in our car. Usually our cars are in a cover parking deck and we never have to clean it". Then it got really quiet. To make conversation because the quietness felt too awkward I said "so how are the roads" and he replied with "they're okay are you going far?" I said no not really just near the mall and he replied with a no you should be okay. I say okay thanks then he asks me if I live in Whitehall and I state "around there".

Inside I was freaking out! all kind of scenarios were going through my mind. I couldn't think straight, I didn't know what to do. Now how funny is that since he's the cop and "his job" is to protect me. All I wanted was for my phone to ring. I'm thinking I wish my husband would call, why isn't he calling me, he always calls me when I get out of work late.  Mind you that by this time I was in the parking lot all by myself because the coworker that I was with got in her car and pulled out of the parking lot. As we finished cleaning the car I thanked him again for help me and wished him a goodnight. He said to take care and to drive safely. 

I got in my car and I pulled out of the parking lot. When I was no longer in sight I picked up my cell and called my so-called friend and I flipped on her for leaving me in the parking lot by myself with the stranger male cop. She starts laughing at me and says "I thought you were safe, he's a cop out of anyone I would leave you with it would be a cop because cops are supposed to protect you". We continue going back and forth and I tell her that there's a lot of weird people out there, there's so many crazy things that happens, for we know he's not a cop but instead he's a crazy dude that beat up a cop, took his uniform and his car and was in that parking lot looking for a young woman to rape and kill. 

It was the laugh of the night and then everything was okay, I was glad I was okay and we hung up. As I'm driving home I start thinking "what if he's following me" I was paranoid. What if he put tracker in my car and he's trying to find out where I live (I watch way to many Lifetime movies). I'm looking in my mirror to the back and pray to God to please protect me as I'm freaking out. Then I calm down and think, well maybe it's not that bad. Maybe he just happened to be there and he was being nice and helped me clean my car, he was just being nice. There still nice people out there right? Especially if it's a cops. Then reality struck me and I felt horrible for even thinking that the cop could harm me. Am I wrong? Technically anything could have happened but I will never know what the true intention of that cop were. So I'm left here weeks later still thinking about it and wondering what if he would had stood in his car? What if he would had never said anything to me? What if he would've never came out of the car to help me clean my car? What if he wouldn't have been nice? Would I have given it a second thought? Would it had bothered me if he wouldn't had offered help? What would had been my thoughts if he would of never came out of his car? It's funny the way we think when we're stuck in a particular situation where we tend to think that we are in harms way when in reality it could have been nothing. It could have been another human-being being nice. 

I don't know why I keep on thinking about it but for some reason I still do and I can help but to wonder what if he was simply being nice. 

xoxo
Pamela

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