When we would visit him he would cook dinner for us. He made the best eggplant! I never ate eggplant unless he made it. He was a great cook. I remember we would go visit and it looked like a giant dirt field with very little grass. He'd take my brother and I for walks around "the field" and introduce us to his "friends" there. It was very weird now that I think about it. But I have to admit that it wasn't a scary and traumatizing experience as some would think it'd be.  

Fast forward to five years later. The happiest day of my life. 

It was late one evening. I know this because I remember the sun setting. My grandmother told me that she received a called from from dad saying that he was released from jail and he was on his way home. Again I don't remember specifics but recall her saying that he wanted me to wait for him at home (meaning her house) not to go anywhere. Granted that at 5 there was really no where for me to go. Either way I waited. And waited. And waited. I have no memory of where my mom and brother were at this point but I know my mom was not around the neighborhood because they were looking for her everywhere to tell her the good news. 

As I waited anxiously it got dark out. Usually in DR it doesn't get dark until after 8pm. Like summers in the States. Then the unexpected happened. The next door neighbor asked me to go to the Colmado (corner store) down the street. I explained that I was waiting for my dad so I couldn't go but she insisted I go that it wouldn't take long. And honestly it wasn't far I'd say a block if that. Now everyone knows that you must respect your elders and listen when they tell you to do something, especially in the Hispanic community, so as the shy and obedient girl that I was I went ahead and went to the store for her. And what do you know my dad showed up. He showed up and I missed it. He was looking for me and I had no idea he was home. 

On my way back I saw him from a distance and I'm pretty sure I teared up, or maybe I think I did. But I am sure as my name is Pamela that I ran toward him. I ran fast, as fast as I could screaming "Papi Papi Papi". He got down and opened his arms and I ran right into them. He hugged me tight and picked me up and said something that I will never forget. He said "I told you not to go anywhere that I was coming home". And although I felt bad for not waiting I was the happiest little girl on the planet at that precise moment. 

That was indeed the happiest day of my life.  

AJ in the other hand had a blast in his room. I swear his room is my favorite in the entire house. I will be so sad when the day comes where he would have to share a room with a sibling. Although I'm sure I'll make it a pretty awesome shared room ;) this day we recorded his 3 years old interview and he played with multiple toys in his room. He's always playing with the easily accessible ones which are his cars but we worked together in building his ikea wooden train track which I love so much because once we are done playing with it we take it apart and put it away until next time. He hung out with me in the kitchen a while and then with Lito and Steven in his room. He is so easily entertained, I love it! 

I played with my laptop pretty much all day paying bills, cleaning up iPhotos, and catching up on blogging. I also made a delicious dinner and baked some banana nut muffins which turned out delicious! I need to remember to take it slow when I do three in a row. I don't do them often and I don't like doing them at all but I have a few shifts like that coming up the next couple of months so that I don't have to use my PTO. 

Tuesday morning after dropping off the boys at school I headed over to buy me a couple of sweaters for everyday use for either the gym or inside the house. Then I met with Steph and sweet baby Abel for breakfast. I feel that things between her and BIL are pretty serious being that they have a baby and are engaged so I want to start building a closer relationship with her. I don't see her friends come around often anymore (maybe due to the season) yet again things change once a baby and a fiance are involved. It was a really nice time with a honest chat and I hope we get together more often without the brothers ;)

After our breakfast date I ended up at the gym with Rose for a little over an hour. I really like hanging out with her, the more time we spend together the more we seem to hit it off. I hope this is only the beginning of something awesome! Have I said this before? I think I have a crush on her :) lol a girlfriend crush of course. After the gym we drove to VS for a nice deal they had on their sports bra and leggings. I kept saying "we are bad!" We are not that type of friend that tells you why you shouldn't buy something, instead we give each other reasons why we should hahaha. I'm seriously laughing out loud as I type this and think back to this day. From there she headed on to another store and I drove home.


That evening I cooked some white rice with rotisserie chicken (store bought) and a carrot, corn, and beets salad I ate as a kid. It was so good. I've been wanting to eat white rice for so long. I cannot remember the last time that I did so it taste just like I had expected, double win! After dinner I baked banana nut muffins from a recipe that SIL had given to me months ago.  Some days I don't have time to make breakfast and this is a perfect grab and go snack especially for the kids before school being that they eat breakfast at school. Some cleaning and a movie later and that was our Tuesday night. 

On Wednesday the hubby didn't have a set time for work so we all slept in till about 7am. He ended up not working at all that day and it was some much needed quality time since I haven't been home on the weekends. I handed the kids some muffins and made ourselves a berry, oats, and spinach breakfast drink, to go, and after dropping off the kids we headed over to the gym. I'm proud of myself for making it at least a couple of times a week the last several weeks. I'm trying to create a habit that will eventually turn into a lifestyle. ***fingers crossed*** that I follow through with this. I've only gone one other time to the gym with my love due to the fact that his workouts are more extreme and longer than what I do. He has been going to the gym since before we started dating so for him this is part of his everyday. I love his dedication to the gym and to see how much he enjoys it. I have to admit that although there have been times in the past where I have argued with him over the many hours he spends at the gym over the course of a week lately I've been reminding myself that he could be interested in other things that wouldn't be beneficial to his health and would create even bigger and more serious issues between us. Plus, I see the results of the time spent there and  I like it ;)


We ended up at Sams after the gym to buy some meat I needed for dinner throughout the week. Then we started talking about what we should do when we got home and we agreed on eating cheese and crackers while sipping on some wine. As we browsed the many cheese they had we decided on a cheese and fruit platter they had just put out. A quick stop at wines and spirits and it was all set. Ten minutes later we were home and we set up our station and picked a movie to watch. Hump days are my favorite days even when I have to work :) After the movie we napped till 4pm. Man, when does that ever happen as an adult? I kept thinking, the kids would be so right on saying that they don't want to go to school today because we were going to have fun without them hahaha and they would be right! I woke up kinda scare thinking that I had slept too long and forgot to pick up AJ but it was only 4:15p and the hubby was getting ready to go get him. After he left I started to make dinner and take out ingredients for a whole wheat apple muffin recipe that I love. There were no more banana muffins and I had a ton of apples that I didn't want to go bad so more muffins it was. They didn't last long either and more have been requested. 

Once everyone arrived home we ate dinner and took showers. Hubby put on Aladdin, talk about old school, and I took advantage to unknot AJ's hair. His hair has gotten so long now that it's almost impossible to wash and comb in the shower without getting a backache so I've been combing it first with conditioner while he watches TV and then rinse it out in the shower. I was feeling adventurous and then decided to give him a trim. I didn't cut much because I didn't want to mess it up either because I was cutting on curly damp hair or because he couldn't keep his head up straight. So he got a very little trim until I get more comfortable. A nice warm shower for AJ completed this night. 


 
Thursday was a work day. A very busy workday. It was nonstop. I had 6 of my patients in some sort of contact precaution between shingles, the flu, and c diff. They all rang at the same time to be either put on commodes, bedpan and be walked to the bathroom while attached to some sort of IV fluid. Every part of my day consisted of doing actual work. I wasn't able to chart until about an hour before my shift ended, it was bad. Very bad. But at the same time I was giving care to human beings that really needed it. It's my favorite part of my job, the one on one interactions and when we are understaffed and it brings on days like these it makes me upset. This night I was just glad that I didn't have to work the next day. I was beat and needed a day off. 



Friday came along and I was happy for it. For starters I wanted to record a day in the life and wished I had but I didn't have enough pictures. My brother surprised me with a call to say he was coming over with my niece. We had great conversions and much needed bonding. I love my siblings to death and I wish them nothing but the best. I just wish they would take life more seriously. I guess in due time right. He was going to take his oldest daughter to Chuckie Cheese so I invited him to come back for dinner and to bring the baby as well and he did. I love having these two beauties in my home. And my brother too of course. After his second arrival I get a knock on the door. My sisters are here. I was both shocked and happy. Me and my siblings are all very different and see life differently. We don't spend much time together and we're all pretty much at different phases of life. But seeing us all under one roof was perfect, I wanted so bad to snap a picture but didn't dare to ask. Pride I tell you is the worse enemy. 


 
Later that night the hubby and I stopped over friends house while my not so little sister watched the boys. I was schedule to work on Saturday and Sunday so I told hubby we could only stay till 1am the latest. It was almost 3am when we got home. Why is it that time seem to fly by when you are enjoying yourself? I have no regrets though because I sure needed some adult time. As we left a nice layer of snow covered the road and the falling snow started to fall thicker and faster. There was not doubts now, we were in for it this weekend.

Since we were expecting a very dangerous snow storm over the weekend and I was debating whether or not to go to work but at the end of it all I ended up going. I knew that many people would call out of work and the hubby had offered to drive me so I went with it. Plus who doesn't like brownie points from their supervisor ;) 



Saturday morning hubby and I woke up and he drove me to work as planned. The roads where unbelievable for that short period of snow that fell and the snow was expected to last till later that night. All day at work we anticipated who would come and who wouldn't. I'm happy to announce however that this weekend was awesome! I was busy but I was able to manage it all without getting overwhelmed.

By Sunday we had gotten over 30 inches of snow, 18 inches more than what the meteorologist had predicted. The roads were disgusting and not drivable unless you had big trucks.  The hubby took me and a coworker to work that morning and then came home to shovel out the cars and clean the front and the back of the house. He and the boys met up with his dad for dinner and he brought me home a nice piece of steak with whipped loaded potatoes, corn, and cinnamon rolls. I promise you I will be with this man till death do us part. Just the nice before I had told him that I was craving steak and the next day he surprises me with a New York Strip :) He does listen when I talk hahaha. 




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Weekly pictures of the boys 3/52

 

*Rainy days in DR where so much fun! We were allowed to go out and play in the rain. My cousins and I would run circles around the house getting wet and finding "cañones" that would allow the water to fall on us fast and hard. Whenever we visit Dorney Park (the amusement park in our town) I love going to water works because it takes me back to those special rainy days. 

*Playing marbles with my brother and his friends. I was the youngest of the girls and no one ever wanted to play with me so I'd take it upon myself in joining my brother's games. I remember being very bad  at it but boy was it fun. We would statin ourselves on the side of our grandparents house and make a circle on the dirt to play against each other, winner takes all hahaha. 

*Having all the kids in the neighborhood come in front of my grandparents house and/or up the street from our house to play freeze tag, or manhunt.

*Sitting under an almond tree with some of the kids by our house. I don't recall much of what we would do but I remember the tree, the adults gathering around it drinking beer, and us sorta imitating them minus the beer ;) 

*Waiting for my grandpa (father's dad) to come home from work so I can assist him in taking off his work shoes and socks. He would give me one whole "peso" to myself for doing that. One peso went far in those days. I recall an incident with one of my cousin where he wanted the peso and try to push me out of my spot to assist grandpa but instead grandpa told us each to take a leg and he gave us 50 cents. Neither of us where happy about it. 

*Oh the carnival. I remember those days so well. People would dress up and parade around town. They'd make "balloons" out of cow's bladders and whoever was out on the streets without a costume would get hit with it. Now, don't ask me what was the purpose of that or or how I thought it was fun because there might be more to it than what I remember. I just know that if I wasn't wearing a custome I would watch from my window. One of my favorite custome and the only one I remember wearing was that of a gypsy like Esmeralda from The Hunchback of Notre Dame. 

*There was this park located diagonally from one of our house in DR that I would frequent often to play in the swings. My memory is a bit unclear about specific times at this park but I remember always coming home with a piece of jewelry missing and my mom being super mad about it each and every time.

*My moms dad passed away when I was fairly young, either three or four, but I have this memory of me sitting on his lap begging him to let me do his hair. He had an afro and I would ask him to let me comb his hair. According to  my memory he said yes and I had a ton of moñitos (pony tails) on his head hahaha. That's the only memory I have of him and boy do I love that memory, it is so vivid it's like it just happened not so long ago.

*My godfather is a seamstress in the DR and he would make me doll size furniture for me to play with. I had everything from beds to couches and side tables. Man he was talented!

*My grandma was the best grandma ever to me from what I remember and memories of her would live on forever. My brother and I lived with her for a long time while we were kids and she wold treat us like we were her own. Most of my memories of DR involve her and her house. I remember hiding from my mom under her skirts, going with her to do errands and visit her daughters. I was this skinny, long, and shy girl and this woman would protect me and cradle me in her arms like a mother would. Aside from stories I've heard on how she treated my mother, she wins the best grandma award in my book. I miss her so much!




To remember is to live. I'm glad I though of doing this series. I have so much that I want to remember.

Here we go, week 1/52:

The year started out being similar to previous years. We slept in and had some good breakfast, courtesy of yours truly :) everyone did as they pleased while I did a some cleaning. Around 4pm we headed over to MIL's house for her traditional New Year Day dinner. This year she had a sea food feast and it was delicious. We hung around her house, had conversations, watched television, and ate some more while the kids played. I didn't expect this day to be full of activities so not much pictures where taken although I should make a mental note to take pictures that capture the moment even if that moment plainly consist of everyone laying around watching tv. 

On Saturday we had a baby shower to attend. After spending the majority of the day launching around and shopping for a couple of hours we all got dolled up and headed on over to celebrate with the parents to be. 

Sunday came around and brought us a three years old. It was AJ's birthday. Like the year before we celebrated it at Kids Castle. We like it there, not many people go and is like having a kid friendly space without the extra charge. AJ wasn't feeling too well but we proceeded with the plans hoping that seeing his cousins would cheer him up. It worked until later that night when I had to drive him to the emergency room as per the on call nurse because his fever was over 103 and his vomiting was of concern. I wasn't pleased with the service at the ER since they only gave him ibuprofen and sent us home without even taking note if his other symptoms. Granted it wasn't even my idea to take him in, it was the on call nurse at the pediatrician office.

On Monday we took a trip to the doctor's office and big brother tested positive for strep, that explained the fevers and his symptoms. But AJ tested negative and had the same symptoms. They were both put on antibiotics and by the end of the week they were both doing much better.

On Tuesday I had a "staffing" meeting for my first foster care placement that took almost three hours. It was heartbreaking to hear the background stories of those kids, it broke my heart while at the same time made me feel good to be helping at least one of them. I know Lito (fake name) is happy to be staying with us and feels part of the family. Whatever we are doing I'm happy that it's working and I hope it continues to work. 

Wednesday included lots of cleaning and laundry doing. Well actually cleaning and organizing has been a big part of this week since I've been off from work. Between the cleaning, cooking, laundry, and sick kiddos I've learned that I need professional work in my life and even more praise is given to moms that are stay at home moms. It is wonderful to be available for your family 24/7 but I don't know if I would be able to do it. Like 24/7 and without a job because you know, like it or not our mommy/wife/homemaker job is 24/7 but having that time away from the home balances it all. At least it does for me and that's why I enjoy working 12 hours shifts since it allows me to be home more frequent. 

Later that night Lito and I headed over to bible study class. Steven and AJ were still feeling under the weather so daddy stayed home with them. 

Thursday was a babysitting day. I watched two of my little cousins (second and third cousins) from 9am to 9pm. Again lots of cleaning, organizing, and rearranging took place. By 8 pm I was drained and when one of the mommas came home I opened up a bottle of wine. While sitting on the couch drinking wine we engaged in many interesting conversations until the next momma and daddy showed which led to more topics, healthy disagreements, and another bottle of wine to be opened. jajaja it was a fun night. Fun indeed ;)

Oh Friday. TGIF could have not been said any better way. I was drained from the week and wanted nothing more than my comfy bed and a quiet home. The hubby was nice enough to drop off the kids at school so I can catch up on sleep and boy did I catch up on sleep. I slept till almost 2pm and feel no shame since that is unheard of in mommy world. When I woke up I felt recharged and managed to complete everything on my to do list for the day. By 7pm we were on our way to a sushi restaurant for dinner but first we made a MickeyDs run before hand to get the kids dinner.  

Saturday marked my going back to work and boy oh boy was my day chaos, so let's leave it at that. 

All in all the week was pretty awesome. Many mornings were spent sleeping in cuddled up on hubby's chest and many nights consisted of drinks and a movie on our couch while the kids slept. I live for moments like this because like I have always said, is the little details that matters most. 


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weekly picture of the boys 

Toward the end of last year I came across a question, "what is your story?" I thought about it a bit and not too long after I told myself I should write  my story on my blog. I'm already set to document as much as I possibly can about my life this year, so why not take one day of the week to write about my life the past 28 years, where I was born and raised, memories of me living in the Dominican Republic, major events in my life, the hardship and the good things, etc. 

More than anything I want these story live on forever, I want to be able to come back to these words when and if my memory starts to fail and I want my children and grandchildren to know the real me, all about me. So I invite you to come on over but this little space of mine,  grab some wine, put your feet up, and join me on throwback Thursdays to a trip down memory lane. There'll be many sad stories but don't let them consume you because they are all in the past now and believe it or not I am thankful for them, most of them anyways, because those stories are what shaped me into the woman that I am today.  

My story is far from a fairytale but it's my story and I am going to document it. :) 

No words can ever express the way I feel now that 2016 have finally arrived. For years, I've looked forward to this year always thinking that 2016 would be my year. I never understood why I had that feeling but there was something about it I couldn't help to get excited for. The number 16 has always been at eyesight. 3/16 to be exact. Every day without fail I tend to look at the clock at exactly 3:16 morning or afternoon. Always. Last year on my birthday I was lucky enough to screenshot my phone on 3/16 at 3:16. I promise you that was not intentionally but couldn't help to make it a keepsake. 

This year so far (granted its only been 5 days) I feel more mature, grown, different, bolder, braver, happy, calm. Is that even possible or have I gone mad? I'm ready to take on the last year in my 20s and make it count. I'm ready to take control of whatever area in my life I feel I lack control on. I have many things I wish to accomplish, personal things. There's always room for growing and this year I will grow and evolve into the woman I know I can be and in the process I plan to record every detail of it here. I want to make my 2016 blog book the biggest of them all. 

So my resolutions/goals for this year is simply to Be Me and Document every aspect of it. I have no idea what this year will bring me but it can't be nothing that I can't handle, for if God is for me who can be against me? (Roman 8:31)

This verse was the verse of the day on 1/1. Since then I've seen it more than 3 times in other places and I'm taking it personal. New and great things are coming my way! I receive it and I will chase it because it belongs to me. So come by often and plan to sit awhile because the posts to come will be interesting to read :) 

I wish you all a happy and blessed 2016!