Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Life Changes

I haven't been the best blogger lately. Of course that's nothing new. I go through periods. There are days I have a kazillion things to talk about while others I have nada. Today I bring you life changes in the work department. It is official, night shift has caught up with me. Combine that with pregnancy and changes need to be made.

I had a plan. I really did. Night shift seemed to be working out great for me, at first. But then I started getting sick more. I usually get sick twice a year and that's when the season changes in fall/winter and spring. Other than that I'm healthy as can be. But lately I swear I've been sick every other week. If its not a throat infection is a respiratory one. If its not a cold is a fever. And honestly I'm getting sick and tired of it.

Now lets talk about insomnia. My new BFF. I can't seem to get rid of her. Some days I have great sleep but that only last a few days. Then I go back to sleeping 3-4 hours in a 24 hour period. Not bueno my friends! I need to rest and feel well rested to succeed at my wifely and motherly duties. If not it all goes down the drain. All of it!

Most importantly quality time with my boys. I'm not going to lie night shift has brought unnecessary issues into my marriage and from what I hear from nurses and other co workers I'm not the only one. Night shift affects many relationships and I can testify to that. We're never on the same page. We hardly see each other let alone talk. My husband work hours vary. Some days he goes in between 3-5am and others at 6-7am. Both times making it impossible for us to see each other in the morning. Then being that he goes to the gym after work and some days I start I 7pm we don't see each other in the evening either. There are weeks we go up to 3 and 4 days without seeing each other. At all! Just talking on the phone briefly to make sure we're alive.

Now you must be wondering what about the child? Yes my friend that's another issue. I hardly see my son and that's the worse heartbreak of all of this. In a 168 hr week I spend about 60hrs with him. Now that's sad :( I feel horrible and the more I miss him and think about it the more I become convince that action must be taken. So I've made a decision, or so I hope.

I've decided to go part time by the end of the month. It was already in the plans for after my maternity leave was over and honestly if I think about it I'll only have to suck it up 2 more months before I go on maternity leave but time is precious and I miss my son and husband. I figured if I start part time now I can spend some QT with my son and prepare him for the new addition as well as spend more time with the hubby and block off any tensions that might have been built over the past months. Because in all honesty if things don't get fix now they surely won't get fixed with a newborn in the house. And the last thing I need is to welcome postpartum depression into my life.

I feel a little unsure of my decision but something needs to be done now before things get worse later. I'm putting my family first and I have faith that things will work out, they just have to. Don't you think?

Well friends, that's all my rambling and venting for now. Y'all have a goodnight now!

xoxo
Pamela

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