Monday, June 17, 2013

First Year Of Marriage Hardships (Link Up)

Oh boy. Back down memory lane I go.

Last year, right around this time of year, I wrote a first year anniversary post that summed up my first year in newlywed land. I didn't give specifics about it because it was and still is very personal and heartbreaking to me. I did however wanted to let it be known that I wasn't living a perfect marriage at that time. 

This time around I will not be giving details either but let me ask you something. How far are you willing to forgive your spouse? 

Now there, think about it for a minute because you might find yourself eating your very own words like I did. 

Now let me make this clear my husband did not have an affair but he did came very close to it. Worse part is that I found out after we were married. Not only that but fairly early in the marriage. I'd say around week six. That right there was the beginning of many hardships that headed our way. Trust was lost. Hurtful things were said. And confusion and blame crept in. I asked god why he would allow us to marry just to tear us apart weeks into it. I analyze and analyze and analyze it even more because I still couldn't believe what was happening and why it was happening to me? To me? And this was only the beginning because things were just getting worse as the months passed by. I thought many times of just calling it quits. I didn't deserve it. Why should I deal with it. But God had other plans for us, me. This will be talked about in a different post but I came to the realization that he put a call out for me and since I wasn't answering he decided to break me down to the point were I would need him badly and answer his calling. 

We finished our first year of marriage and things started looking up again. And then downhill it went again and again. So not only did we have a hard first year but a beginning of a second too. And it was all because of trust. Once trust is lost you better hold on tight because you will be riding one hell of a roller-coaster. 

Slowly but surely we're working on it and just like I said last year my husband made a mistake. He's human, is to be expected but not accepted. Still he's a great person, father, friend, provider and I would be crazy to let him go thinking I can find better. Not in this millennium. I refuse to throw away 6 years of our relationship just because we had one bad one. One of my favorite quotes by Doug Larson is "more marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse". 

So I tell you don't give up. Not now. Trust God, he has a plan. It may not be the same as yours but I guarantee you it'll be better then yours. 

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