Over my journey in pregnancy and motherhood there are a few advice I would like to give those expecting mothers and those starting motherhood. Now I'm no expert and I'm still learning myself but if there's anything I've learn I don't mind sharing.
In pregnancy:
1. Stay hydrated- I know you hear it often but this truly makes a difference in the way you feel and your moods. Along with all the other benefits to you and baby.
2. Drink your prenatal vitamins- I know I know. They stink. They're big. You forget. But boy oh boy are they important.
3. Don't Stress- not too much anyways. You will always worry. About any little thing and everything. But have faith that things will work out as they should. Don't go to google every time you don't understand something or get worry because reading something unexpected will only make it worse. Instead stay healthy and happy for your baby. Remember that he or she feels everything you feel and can sense your stress level as well as it can affect him/her. So try your best to stay as happy and healthy as you can.
4. Take Maternity Pictures- whether they're professional or not take some pictures. Over the weeks. Over the months. Or even just once. You may say that you don't need them because you'll be pregnant again but remember that although that is true, you will only be pregnant with that child once. You want to remember that time and I'm sure your child would enjoy those pictures just as much when they are older. I would love to have a picture of my mother when she was pregnant with me.
5. Enjoy every minute of it- stay positive. Every pregnancy is different and full of surprises enjoy it. Every bit of it. Even the morning sickness because what your body is doing is beyond amazing. Nurturing a fetus that will one day be an adult just like you and me. Love your body, even the stretch marks that come with it because like I've heard before they are just the scars of a mother protecting her child for nine months. You should be proud of what you've done. Wear them proudly.
6. Get your read on- research research research. You can't never research too much. Educate yourself. Know what to expect. What's to come and how to handle it. Be ready, or at least as ready as can be. Read other stories. Find a support group of girls going through the same changes as you. And most importantly be open-minded. Don't get stuck in your own ways but rather be open to try other things.
In Motherhood:
1. Ask for help/Take the help offered- things can get overwhelming so don't be afraid to take a step back and as for help. Even better take the help when someone offers it. Whether is some cooking or cleaning or even watching the older kids. You need to ease into things. Don't just jump into your old life because that old life is no more. Now you have a precious bundle of joy that will change it all. For the better of course ;)
2. Rest- they say to sleep when the baby sleep and boy is this right on sanity. I'm sure the hubby won't mind that there are dishes on the sink or that you're running late with dinner. I'm pretty sure he'd rather see you happy and sane then have a clean kitchen. Do only as much as your body allows and take it easy. You just did something amazing. You deserve a break from house duties.
3. Take plenty of pictures- time will fly by in the blink of an eye and you'll be left wondering where did the time go. And as long as you have those pictures you'll be able to go back in time and remember where they went. Your baby's face will change way too fast, you'll want to have those pictures to think back on. Trust me.
4. Live in the moment- enjoy every minute with you sweet baby and your new family. Don't worry too much on when your maternity leave will be over, who will babysit the baby, how you're going to handle being separate from your baby. Just enjoy the time you have now, make those moments count because one thing that you can be certain of is that you'll never get them back.
5. Get out of the house- go out for a walk at a park or the mall. Go to a friends house. Out to dinner. Anywhere. Just get out of the house. It will do you good to get the fresh air.
6. Find time for yourself and your spouse- bringing a new baby home can bring on stress on a couple. Make sure you keep date nights going even if its for an hour or two, breakfast or lunch, inside or out just make time for yourselves to reconnect and keep the love growing. Certainly things will be different but don't forget how you got here in the first place.
Well. This got pretty lengthy. I hope you find my advice helpful in anyway.
At last though I'm caught up with this link up. :)
Writing these heart-felt post get harder and harder each time. I say this because it requires a lot of thinking from my part. Thinking about things that I might have not given much thought in the past with great detail. So as I sit here today, thinking of my goals in motherhood these things come to mind.
Patience - I resently had a conversation with my son where I said "patience is a virtue". I honestly believe this and I am learning to have more and more patience with each passing day. This is something hard for me because I tend to "lose my cool" fairly quick but with children in your home this is something that must be worked on. For the sake of everyone in the home.
Role Model - I want to be a role model for my kids. I want to teach them to never give up. That it's never too late. And that even when all things seem impossible they can always find a way. To be positive and push away negativity of any form and shape. To have compassion and to follow their dreams.
Manners - I want to teach them good manners. Yea yea we all want that for our kids I know. But I remember being a little kid and my mother telling me certain ways I should and should not do/behave as and they have stuck ever since. I hope to do the same for my kids. To tech them how to behave in public and how to behave in such way that they are happy with themselves even when in private. I want them to know the proper way a man should behave and how I man should treat women.
Not to settle- I want to push them to the best of their abilities. I don't want them to settle for less when they deserve so much more. Most importantly I want them to know their worth.
Make memories and live in the moment- I've mentioned this before but one of my biggest goal is to make amazing, happy memories. Memories of us as a family whether we are on an exciting vacation, a weekend at the beach, a day at a park, or a simple day at home. I want to capture those moments where years down the road they can look back at pictures or simply remember how much fun they had as kids and how happy we were. Even if they remember the bad stuff that would only serve them as a way to know that even when things are bad they can always pull through, just like we did. I want us to make the best of every situation and make every moment count.
Listen and be understanding - I want to build a relationship with my children so that they know I will always be here for them. To listen, to support them, to encourage them. I don't want them to ever hesitate about coming to me with anything that they might be going through because they think I won't understand. I never had that type of relationship with my mother as a teenager and I don't want it to be like that with my kids because just like I did I don't want them to go through life feeling alone.
Love and forgiveness - I want to teach them what true love really is. That true love does exists. I want them to see their parents and see nothing but love not only for each other but for our family too. I want them to know that forgiveness means everything. Without forgiveness they'll never know the true meaning of love and peace.
Last but not least I want them to know that God is always first. I want them to grow up knowing the word of God and how much good it can do for their soul. I want them to have faith and believe in miracles. Of course that only they can make such decisions but is our job as parents to teach them to the best of our knowledge.
I've been wanting to join this link up for quite sometime now but I never knew how to start it. I mean there are endless of tbt I can talk about. My mind goes wild from the ideas but when I go to write I get nothing.
Then today, as I looked through an album I made for myself of the pictures I had from way back when the pictures made me giggle. Not only that but I was taken to the exact days those pictures were taken. My childhood may have not of been perfect but I had my family and that's what really matter. We celebrated holidays just us. Birthdays just us. Park trips and play dates... us. And honestly I don't regret it or wish I had it different. The pictures speak for themselves. You can't fake a happy moment on time.
From siblings that can't take a picture without making faces
To embarrassing pictures in Jammies
To a simple Sega game of Sonic
Ohana means family and I wouldn't trade mine for a million bucks. Or would I now? Jk. I love these people more then life itself just like I love the little family I have of my own now. I'm going to make sure I capture those moments in time when a simple night of board game will ten years from now be a Throwback Thursday Pic ;)
Thank you mother for giving birth to us. We might not be perfect but perfect is not always happiness.
I would like to be able to travel through time. This may sound a bit selfish but there's a purpose for it. I would love nothing more in this world then to have the opportunity to see my father one last time. To hug him tightly, kiss him proudly, and say I love you one more time. To look into his eyes and tell him how proud I am to have him as a father. To just sit with him and talk. Talk about how my life has been these last 15 years. Talk about the grandchildren he never got the chance to meet. Talk about how much we miss him. How we think of him often. More than anything in the world I would love to go back in time and take a picture with my dad. A picture where I would be right next to him, resting my head on his shoulder. A picture that will be worth a thousand words. A picture that I will cherish every day of my life until the end. A picture that will last not only a lifetime but an eternity.
With just a month left before the summer ends there are a few things I'd like to get done with my family. I feel that this summer went by way too fast and we didn't even get to take a trip to the beach :( I was hopping to take AJ to Ocean City, MD and start making memories with him as we did with Steven jr. We've been there every year since 2005 and unfortunately this year was the exception.
Lucky for us we have a vacation coming up soon which I'm sure will kick Ocean City's butt. I'm excited for that! In the meantime though let's make this summer count with the things on my list. I plan to blog about each activity once they are completed so stick around.
(Say Whaaaat?)
My dear Adrian,
Words cannot begin to describe how much joy you have brought into our lives. Every month I see you grow and evolve into this happy, smart, loving little boy full of life and it melts my heart. I cannot believe that we are pass the half way mark from your birth date. Soon you'll be crawling, then walking, then running, and into pre-school. Wait. Hold up. Let's not get ahead of ourselves here, lets enjoy these months to come first then the years. Phew. I was ready to start bawling here. Ok back to business.
I would love nothing more than to have a schedule at work here but you're stubborn like your father and yeah. Is not happening. I mean we do have somewhat of a system going on. Although it varies day by day by your temperament.
You usually wake up when daddy wakes up if he has a late start which is between 6-7am. If you're in our room (which you usually are) then I just bring you over to our bed and feed you to try an get a few more hours of sleep. That hardly ever works. Especially when the big bro wakes up and comes into bed with us. Right away you assume is playtime and he does not help at stating otherwise. So I try to be sleek and turn on the TV for you to watch while I wake up. Slowly. That only last about 30 mins.
I usually feed you oatmeal around 10am and another breastfeeding session is at hand. We play a bit on the floor and then is bath time (is my way to get you to nap for 3 hrs) It doesn't always work but I'm hopeful. You do take a nap here and that's my time to spend with the big bro, clean, and prep for dinner. After you wake up I feed you lunch, usually a fruit and some water. Then is more playtime and running errands. You're likely to nap in the car but that's not always the case. Again, it all depend on if big bro is with us or if you skipped napped time earlier.
Sometime between 5-6p we eat dinner and we hang out waiting for daddy. Sometimes I clean up after dinner while you play with your brother or watch me from the high chair. Then at 8p is bath time again another breastfeeding session and bedtime. If its 9p and your not in bed you start getting antsy and it gets harder to put you down. Most days you sleep between 7-8 hours before waking up for a "snack" then you go back to bed. With us. This is where I'm guilty. Since you only snack I should suck it up and feed you in your rocker rather then my bed that way you go back to your crib. But no. I bring you to bed with us and you stay hooked on my boob for hours. I doubt that you feed for the rest of the night. However you are getting too used to it and are using me as a pacifier and comfort for sleeping which is a No No. We have got to stop this. For both of our sakes. And for Daddy and Grandma's too because they're the ones the pay the price when I have to work and they have to deal with you when you wake up for your "snack".
So you see. Your somewhat in a schedule. Problem is that this rarely happens. Most of the time chaos is spread all over the day and I have to strap you on me while I clean and cook or take the easy way out and drive to grandmas house to eat dinner there.
Then there are days you don't nap longer then 15 minutes or only if your in my arms. What can I say, your a mommas boy ;). Some days you eat every 3-4 hours on schedule while others you're on the boob every hour or two for only 5-7 mins. I don't mind it but sweetie you're playing with my supply. I can't even pump over two ounces because my body is all confused between working and pumping at night then a few regular days at home then pumping at night again. It's getting to me. I can feel it. So please Hun, lets work something out no?
You love to be held. You're nosey. You love to watch your surroundings or what your brother and puppy are up to. You eat like there'll be no tomorrow. Seriously. You can eat serving after serving with no issue. Food is def your favorite thing about life right about now. You take between 5-6oz bottles of BM when I'm not around. Which by the way has me worried with my not being able to meet your demand. I don't want to use formula. I really don't.
You are such a happy baby. Your laughter warms up our life. It is the best laughter ever. You laugh about anything. A sneeze. A burp. You're pretty mellow, unless your over tired and hungry.
Your development so far involve: sitting up without support. Army crawl. Waving your hands (to a song). Babbling dada. And making all sorts of sounds with your mouth. Passing object from hand to hand and putting it in your mouth. You have to be teething. There's no doubt!
I hope to get you into a better routine before we go on vacation when you're 9th month. But I'm sure that's going to be a waste since it'll be hard to stick to it after getting back. Oh well, only time will tell when you are ready. Until now we will just do as you wish. Yea, you pretty much have me and everyone else wrapped around your tiny fingers :)
I love you boys!
If I could turn back time I'd probably make the same mistakes again because making them has brought me to where I am today. What I would do however is learn from them. Use them as guidance to make wiser decisions.
I would treasure the few moments I had with my father. I'd make sure he knew how much I loved him. I wouldn't take his letters and words for granted. I would take as many pictures as possible to have pieces of him to remember him by and show my children.
I would have listened to my mother more often. Because you know, mother is always right.
I would focus more in my studies and would have tried my best to put my education before anything else. Even in college I wouldn't take my elective for granted because "I didn't really need them in my field". I would procrastinate less.
I would focus less on boys. Spend my times with my friends, growing, learning, making memories, forming long term friendships because where are those boys now? I couldn't tell you.
I would educate myself in saving for the future or a rainy day. I've been working since I was 15 years old. I had no bills back then and my pay checks were pretty awesome. Making saving a habit would have saved a lot of hardship a few years ago and even now.
I would have taken the opportunity given to me to run a private doctors office at age 21. It would have given me great experience and plenty more opportunities career wise.
Bottom line is that I wouldn't have taken anything for granted and would have made the best out of every situation.
If there's anything that I would want to be in this world would be a combination of my mother and mother-in-law. Now this might sound a bit cliche because come on, I could choose to be anything and I choose them? Really?!
Yes. Really. If I'm ever half as amazing as these two women I'll be one proud lady. Reason being because they are both such amazing women yet so different. Now, I admit that I not always felt this way about my mother. Our relationship in my teens wasn't the greatest but now, now I wouldn't know what to do without her. Flaws and all. She's a bit on the old fashioned side but has such patience. I wish I could have gotten that gene because I'm not as patient. She takes her time doing things but she does it with love and passion and it shows. She's on the timid side as well, that I did get from her but a worse version ;).
As to my mother-in-law, I also admit that we've had our rough moments with each other. We had our own reasons for our behavior and thoughts. It has not been the greatest relationship but I sure hope we are way past it all. She an amazing woman with such great spirit. So caring, loving, a go-getter, people pleaser. Great cook. She has so many good qualities. I can go on forever.
They are both unique in many ways and I'm happy to have them both in my life as role models. To learn from them and make those qualities part of my style and bring them to my family for years on end. As I was searching for pictures of them and of me with them I realize I hardly have any. :-/ shame on me, that needs to change asap.
So yes, if I could be anyone in the world it would be a combination of these two ladies. I feel lucky to have them in my life and be able to learn from them. I love you both!
About a month ago we had visitors from NYC. The lovely Julia Azcona who has done several sessions for us, and her husband. After photographing our engagement session, wedding, trash the dress, boudoir ;), and a family shoot with my mother and siblings back in 2010 I thought it was only fitting that she photographed my family with its newest addition.
I was set on having our family photo shoot in July because our boys had just turned six months and 7 years old. For some reason that age spoke to me and I wanted to have it captured. And so as it turned out Julia was available and able to make the trip to PA.
Once again I couldn't be more pleased. I love every.single.picture! Here are some of my favorites, Which one is your?
If I was to win the lottery, what wouldn't I do.
For starters I'd pay off all our debts. Buy us a bigger house with some land and take a family vacation :)
I'd rent a huge house in Hawaii and take my fellow knotties, husbands and all, so that we can spend some amazing time with each other. All of us together in one place. No phones, no FaceTime, no Facebook.
I'd donate money to my top two favorite charities.
I'd set up college and savings accounts for both of my kids.
Of course that I'd save as much as I can for retirement
I'd make sure my mom is well taken care off.
I'd probably get pregnant with our third child and/or adopt a baby.
Most importantly, I'd take time off from work to be there for my boys and go on as many adventures as possible without a single worry about money. I would want to teach them about life and other cultures so that they may have an open mind to everyone they meet and everything they see.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Social Icons