Saturday, August 3, 2013

52 WOBWAP: My biggest weakness

There's no doubt that my biggest weakness is my procrastination and taking on more then what I can handle. In the last several weeks this has caused life changing situations that I'm sure if it wasn't because of those things I wouldn't be dealing with what I'm dealing with now. Yet at the same time I have to say that I'm thankful things are the way they are now because now I'm able to dedicate more time to my family. Sorta.

You see, I'm the type of gal that takes too much on. I like to cook, I like to bake, I want to be home for my kids, cater to my husband, help out my mom, be there for my friends, I want to obtain a college degree. One that would allow me to help others. Like truly help them in a time of need, when they are most vulnerable. I decided to cloth diaper and exclusively breastfeed. And so on, so forth. When you add up all the things that I like/want to do with the things I have to do, well we run into a problem. Procrastination. And like my husband calls it, a job half-assed. Boy does he get mad.

I'm sorry. I can't help it. I try I really do but I get distracted to easily. Or like I like to think, I work better under pressure. Ha! who am I kidding. I mostly panic under pressure lol (makes you wonder about a career in the medical field no?)

My problem is that I dream about this perfect life with a clean house, well behaved kids that I do fun activities with, a Pinterest Inspired home cooked meal, a bedtime routine, and quality time with my husband that I forget about how real life is and everything that comes in between. Like a run to the grocery store in the middle of making dinner and cleaning the dishes because I don't have a specific ingredient that requires kids getting put in and out of car seats etc. So something that could take me 20 mins to do is now taking me 40 mins.  Better yet a call from my mom while I'm doing laundry or cleaning that requires me to translate on a three-way for her that will take an hour of my time in which I need to be seated to concentrate. Or even when is feeding time and I decide to watch some TV for the time being and then the show gets too good and I can't seem to walk away to put another load of laundry. Is the little things like this that set me behind and then a whole day is gone and I feel like I haven't accomplished anything. Then I say, well I'll get up early tomorrow and finish this and that and what do you know I forgot that I have an appointment tomorrow morning. Geez, is just never ending. Now mind you this are the simple day to day things I procrastinate on. You don't want to get me started on the big stuff. Like school.

I know that these things are an easy fix but you really won't understand the problem unless you were to shadow me for a day or of course, unless you are my husband and have to deal with it daily. I need to prioritize and stay organized and on a schedule. I have real issues with putting things off that eventually become worse for me to complete. I feel like every new day I wake up to consist of me catching up from the day (s) before. And it shouldn't be that way. I'm a grown woman with plenty of responsibilities that I need to be on top of. I'm hoping that my current situation help me to realize that procrastinating is not going to take me place in life. I need to start making changes today. Right Now! Ok maybe tomorrow, is kind of late now.

Seriously though 26 years old Pamela, this has got to stop. In just a few years you're going to realize this was wrong and useless and is going to be too late to fix. Pushing your nursing career even further should be your reality check. The time to make changes have arrived.

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