Monday, December 23, 2013

All it took was Faith


A little over two years ago I took a leap of faith. Or so I thought. I went with what I thought I wanted without thinking twice. I made a decision that I will always think back upon and wondered what in the world was I thinking. That decision was to work night shift. I wanted to be in an OB unit so bad and I wouldn't listen to anyone who would tell me how wrong this was. A newlywed, mother, and student doing a complete 180 with her life. I tell you right now that was NOT God's plan for me. Of that I am 100% sure.

Sometimes we want something so bad and even with the signs staring us right in the face, telling us don't do it, we still do. Because we want things done our way, in our terms, on our own time. Not thinking about God's plan for us. And he doesn't stop us either. I'm sure he thinks "OK, you want it this way fine. But don't start regretting it mid way through". Then we regret our decisions and pray and pray for God to stir us out of that situation. Is that just me? 

Last November I made another decision. A decision I believed would benefit my growing family. I decided to go part time because working nights was getting to be too much. I wasn't home enough and felt like I was missing out on watching my son grow and being there for him. I knew that working nights four days a week was not going to go well with a newborn at home. So I cut my hours in half before giving birth to spend some time with my oldest. 

While on maternity leave it felt so good to be home. And returning to work part time didn't seem that bad. The rest of the year went by smoothly. I have to admit night shift  has great perks. If I was doing it as a nurse and money wasn't an issue I'd totally keep doing it. But deep down I knew that this wasn't for me. Not yet at least. And this is when my prayers began. I prayed and prayed to get out of it and even before giving birth I applied to endless job openings and nothing. 

Don't get me wrong. I am thankful on being able to be home with the little one for the first year. To watch him grow and develop into a toddler. To document his first year and witness all his first. To see both of my boys create this amazing brotherly bond. It has been a nice thing to watch and experience. But I am ready for a change. 

 
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Over the summer I applied for several day jobs and I wasn't even called in for interviews. Then recession hit the hospital and cuts were being made, position were frozen and taken away. I worried. A lot. What if I was destined to stay night shift for years on end. I couldn't stay nights anymore and I needed to go full time ASAP. 

I started to pray even harder and looking at the good of every situation. Like I said, nights have it's perks and I know school would be easier this way. But I have to remember that school will always be there and that my family, happiness, and sanity must come first.

I wasn't sure what it was that I truly wanted, all I knew was that I needed to go back to full time or get a day shift job. There was a FT position that was going to be opening up, still night shift though. And then another one. I got the first one but at the last minute the girl backed down and just like that I had lost it. In a moment of desperation I went to the positions available within the network and saw a positioned that interest me a lot. I applied while saying, "Lord if it meant to be it will be and if not I will be patient". Not even a week went by when I was called in for an interview. I left that office with a good feeling. Next day I get a call back with an invite for lunch to meet the staff. Good feeling indeed. After rescheduling due to snow I made my way to the office again, and brought them homemade chocolate chip cookies, hey it was a lunch invite ;). That was two Thursdays ago. The supervisor told me that I would hear back either Friday or Monday but I just knew deep down that it would be Monday. I went on with my weekend at work hoping that it would be one of the last times I'd come in for that shift. 

Monday came and I went to bed after getting home from work. I woke up around noon, check my phone and nothing. I put up the volume just in case and try to fall back to sleep. My heart was beating so fast. I was so anxious. Not even 10 minutes later my phone rings. I look at the caller ID and I swear I hear God's voice telling me "good things happen to those who wait". 

I cleared my throat to not sound sleepy and everything I heard was music to my ears. "Offer. Position. Want you. Release date." I thought I was dreaming. 

After a few minutes it finally sunk in. God had heard my prayers. He hadn't forgotten about me. His plan for my life was getting back on track. 

I jumped out of the bed and ran to the kitchen to tell my mother. I called the hubby and texted a few people. It was impossible to go back to bed after that. I couldn't stop thinking that I needed to sleep because I still had to return to work that night but my excitement took over. I thanked God over and over again. Just 4 more shifts and I would be free. I would be working a normal 8-5 job. I would be home in the evening to have dinner with my family. I would sleep with my husband every night. I would read to my kids before bed and tuck them in, every night. I would have my weekends open to do as I please. 

Things are looking up for me and all it took was a little faith, some prayers, and lots of patience. 

In less then two short weeks we will welcome a new year. A new year that I hope will bring many good things. A birthday celebration. A new job. A wedding. New aspirations. New and better relationships. 

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The last 2.5 years of my life were hectic and long ones. But the wait to what's to come was worth it. I have a good feeling about this new path in my life. I look forward to the meal planning, free weekends, and evenings with the family. I am a little worried at the unknown but I wouldn't be human if I wasn't right?

I meet some wonderful people here and I know some have become life long friends. Every chapter has an end and this one has reached his. I'm off for a week now and I plan to make the best of it with my boys. 

I'm specially thankful to have a mother that can watch my kids so that they don't have to attend daycare. There are many blessings in my life, I need to appreciate them more. Not everyone can be as lucky. 


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